monday blues



Hi.  It's monday and I'm wearing old blue jeans, old blue shirt and these boots.  No thinking involved.


Thank you all for your amazingly honest and many heartbreaking comments on my last post.  I feel so vulnerable putting my (our) story out there.  I almost wish I hadn't but see in the comments that many of you are going thru similar heart wrenching journeys.  I'm overwhelmed by your raw honesty and openness.  The overarching theme is that life is painful but we have to keep going.  Not running but walking through it, feeling it as best we can.  There is no timeline and life will unfold as it should.




In other news I've agreed to have Thanksgiving here.  So November should be full of holiday things...x

14 comments

  1. You look great! I can't wait for cooler weather so I can wear my boots too, I love yours. I would be roasting if I wore them right now though, it's supposed to be in the 90's all week here in San Fernando Valley so I'm still in my sandals most days. You always seem to look classic yet modern at the same time, which is my goal.

    I hope you'll post your Thanksgiving decor and table!

    D.

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  2. Janet, I hope you will always feel your blog is a "safe" place for you to pour your heart out. I am honored that you do. As always, am sending you love and the biggest hug imaginable! Katie from Hunt. Beach

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  3. You look spectacular and I am so glad you find comfort in the company here. xox.

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  4. I feel pretty sure that if anyone gives you a hard time we will rise up as one huge posse and take them out. <3

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  5. Janet, You are loved by your blog family..we stand up together for right. I love the jeans look. You are just a classy girl. Blessings, xoxo, Susie

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  6. I have those exact same boots! Feels like "buttah" on my feet (or Earth Balance for you plant based peeps :-)

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  7. I love the holidays. Planing, preparing and decorating always puts me in the spirit. Also being surrounded by loved ones (family, friends and neighbors) and sharing the holiday together makes everything perfect. One Christmas party doubled in size as my relatives invited friends that needed a place to go. The more the merrier! Hosting Thanksgiving will be wonderful. Susan

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  8. Sharing your story can be helpful to others. I'm glad you chose to do that and at the same time I understand your reticence in having done so. Sending a big hug.

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  9. I love the look and feel of soft denim. So comfy. The holidays will bring a mix of emotions for you, but hosting Thanksgiving should be a good thing. Busying you with planning, cooking, and decorating, but also wrapping you in warmth and love and bringing those good feelings into your home. I found your Instagram account today and look forward to following you there as well as here. xo

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  10. You are right, life unfolds as it should, like it or not. As random as life is, it's still wonderful and though painful at times, it goes in.
    Thanksgiving at my house too. Can't wait to see your plans for it. 😚💕

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  11. It's been 5 years since my husband of 39 years died.

    I still - at times - find myself stunned. At the same time, I'm okay. Most days I think of him with
    great love and gratitude. Yes, there is still sorrow, but it is no longer the predominant emotion in my body. I wouldn't have believed this would be possible for the first 2 years after he died.

    I remember feeling that no one else in the world had ever felt as awful as I did. I remember the yearning.

    Now, I think about all the kindnesses great and small I've been lucky enough to have received. Reading about grief and going
    to bereavement /support groups I remember how sometimes just one breath is all you need to do,
    and then the next breath. And then the next. Even though you are breathing in hell.
    [ "When you are going through hell..keep going" ]. Bereavement groups helped me see everyone suffers when
    they lose a beloved person. And losses will come to ALL of us.

    For me, NO holiday will ever be the same. I actually DREAD the holidays now.
    I hope you are able to enjoy them.

    My grandmother became a widow at age 35. My mother became one at age 50. My aunt at age 58
    and my husband's sister at age 56. 4 out of 5 married women over age 65 will become widows.
    I made it to age 66.

    It's wonderful you are sharing your pain. You are helping people.
    I recall a line from a movie with Daniel Day Lewis-maybe it was
    called
    "the age of innocence" ?
    The line was:

    "The only thing sadder than DEATH is LIFE..."

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  12. Grieving is taking one step forward and two back sometimes. My Mother passed 16 years ago on the morning of December 26th in my home after fighting stage 4 ovarian cancer for 21 months. For a week we knew that she would be passing. Of course, the Christmas holiday season brings back so many bittersweet memories. I try to say more prayers, be a little nicer, remember the real reason for the season and eliminate holiday tasks that sometimes seem to just bog me down. I like to make time to do something with friends, one at a time when possible. And now in June of 2020, my husband will be gone from cancer for 5 years. It's hard to imagine that one can go through a life and not grieve over the losses we must endure during our lives. I'm not sure I would want to even be that person. I had a sweet Aunt that had taken care of her sister-in-law, her mother-in-law and husband in her home until they passed. She told me she considered it an honor and privilege to help them and share with them. I will never forget that conversation with her. Not everyone is the caretaker for someone so ill, not everyone can be and not everyone wants to be. It is never easy, but I don't believe one regrets ever having done so. May you find comfort knowing you were able to be there while your loved one transitioned and know that you will be joined together in love and peace, eternally.

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kindness is never out of style.

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