still


Hello sweet friends.  I'm writing because a few of you have reached out expressing concern for me.  I'm still here.  The word still seems to be my word these days.  This month will be 3 years since Larry died.  Just typing that gives me chills...still.




For forty years it was we.  Getting used to that stillness takes some getting used to.  Anderson Cooper's voice reporting the evening news is comforting. It's really not what he says it's just the voice.   Little rituals seem very important to me now.  I like being in before it gets dark.  Opening and closing the drapes at just the right time each day.  Certain lights on at certain times.  Small patterns keep me grounded.  I can't explain it but that's how I am now.  As a child I always liked being alone so I think that is in my blood and my saving grace.  I have several widow friends and they are unbearably lonely.  I don't feel lonely but I am aware that I am alone so there is that.  Maybe that'll pass one day?  

There are heartbreaking times for sure.  Watching my young grandchildren play and knowing they will never know him can be gut-wrenching.  I'm glad my older grandaughter has lots of memories of him.  

I hope this did not sound morose because I am surrounded by a loving family and many friends.  I feel very loved.  Thank you as always because without you this blog would never have been anything.  Do you know that over 10M people have read this blog?  23K just last month. 

So the world does goes on.  xo



fewer...finer

 


Hello sweet friends.  The other day I posted this photo and IG and it got a lot of attention.  Lots of people private messaged me as well as left comments so I thought I'd post it here too.  It pretty much sums up the way I've been living the last couple of years.  I call it fewer/finer.  I've slowly been decluttering and somehow making this place mine without erasing Larry.  It's a delicate balance.  I know some widows that don't touch anything after their loved one has passed away and I know widows who have sold the house and moved for a fresh start.  I say whatever works for you and brings you any amount of peace is the way to go. 



For me that has meant a slow but deliberate clean out and upgrades here and there.  Btw, July's budget was blown to bits bc of a few upgrades.  But to me overdue and well worth it.  I upgraded my window hardware using Pottery Barn Teen rods.  Their regular range of hardware was a little too big and overwhelming for my room and I love it.  I also purchased their Belgium linen drapes.  I'll leave links below.  These have an ethereal feel allowing light in but giving lots of privacy.  You eagle eyed readers will also notice a new landscape which I adore too.  So small shifts here and there feel good to me.  My home is feeling a little fresher, feminine and above all serene.  xo


PB Teen drapery rods

PB Belgium linen drape White




how i'm trying to save money in july

 


Hi dear friends.  I thought I'd talk a little about saving money in July.  As our summer temps go up so do the utility bills.  The garden demands more water and I demand more interior coolness.  


In my last post I told you about the thick triple lined Ethan Allen drapes I purchased and they have helped so much.  I pretty much keep them closed once the sun moves around to that part of the house.  But luckily my entry and living room get early morning sun so I can keep the drapes opened here for most of the day which I love bc I like bright interiors.  They make me happy.




I was able to get these gorgeous pink hydrangeas from a friends garden.  Gosh they are beautiful.


I've been trying many different methods of saving water in the garden,watering in the morning vs the evening.  I've been hand washing my dishes and saving the rinse water and can use that in all my pots outside.  I have no idea if this will make much of a dent in the water bill but I feel good trying.  I also have cut way back on cooking anything.  I don't know what is happening to me but I dread cooking these days.  So overnight oats and various salads are what I've been eating.  Also lots of cold water with lemon and orange slices.  I notice overall I'm driving less and just doing less.  I think it's leftover covid isolation.  I'm not hating it.  I'd love to hear how you are saving this month.  Any tips in the comments would be wonderful! x

ps - and what are you guys eating?

keeping my cool

 


One of the many things I've always complained about over the years is how having no insulation in this house has been a challenge in the cold and heat.  Well hopefully I will complain no more (not likely) thanks to these drapes I stumbled upon at a flea market not long ago.  


 


A dear reader in the comments once suggested I tell you more about my finds so consider your suggestion taken dear.  Here's the story...

I was at a small flea market looking for things for Mary's house when off in the distance I saw a pile of what appeared to be toile fabric.  So naturally I proceeded directly to it.  As I picked up the heavy fabric I could see they were drapery panels.  The woman selling them said they were Ethan Allen and she was selling them because she had recently moved.  I counted them quickly and there were 9 in total.  I asked her what she was selling them for and she said five.  I thought $500 is not bad for 9 double lined/insulated Ethan Allen in perfect condition drapery panels.  I told her I'd have to zip to the bank to get more cash.  I looked around at the rest of her items for sale and before leaving double checked the price.  She said yes $5 per panel. Oh my goodness...she did not!  But yes that was the price, $45 for all 9 panels.  Guys these drapes are gorgeous. They block out the cold and heat in my home.  I put them in my bedroom, in the little study room and use one as a blanket.  I used a pair at Mary's house too.  Anyway that is the story of the Ethan Allen toile drapes. x

summer of love

 


Let's have a summer of love, shall we?



Let's love what we have right now...not when this or that is just right.  Right now.


I'm including everything in my summer of love.  Even if things are falling apart or nothing is going the way I thought it'd go...I'm gonna love it exactly as is.  Life is always easier when I accept it exactly how it is in this v. moment.  x

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