hey there




I'm going to give this a shot.  You have to start somewhere right?  I have tried countless times to write, write something Janet, but always stop because I don't know where to start.  My thoughts are still quite jumbled. 



So I thought I'd just start by filling you in on what a little bit of what life is like now.  Larry was such a larger-than-life personality and without him, the house is v quiet, at times unnervingly so 💔.  I've been in the garden as much as possible but always with the  allergies.  I've started with small tasks inside too, cleaning, organizing and painting. They've been good for me because I feel a rhythm returning.












Thank you all for the emails, cards, flowers, plants and gifts.  I'll treasure all the cards and photos of the flowers forever.  Thank you for taking time out of your busy days to continually drop by and check on me.  I'm humbled by it all and it really did help when I most needed it.

So what to do next?  I want to try and continue to blog.  I do not want to use this space to grieve though.  I hope you understand what I mean by that.  I want this to be a place of normalcy for me.  I want to talk gardens, decorating, food and fashion.  I'm gonna give it a shot...💗

85 comments

  1. I am so thankful to see your post and appreciate you letting all of us know how you are doing. I know that we will all continue to keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Meanwhile, I understand your desire to keep this as a space for things that you enjoy and I am so looking forward to your continued thoughts and example on the different aspects of a simple and tasteful way of living. I spent the last few weeks re-reading your blog from day one and it was such a sweet spot in my days :o) Thank you for being the person that you are! xo Rachel

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  2. hey there back : ) . Your garden is looking beautiful. So glad to see you posting again. Best wishes and sending hugs from Canada.

    Rebecca

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  3. "...gardens, decorating, food and fashion." I'm all in!
    Looking forward to enjoying the sensibilities you share here.
    All the best,
    Suzanne

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  4. It's so very good to see your post Janet. It seems to me that your approach to your blog is a healthy one...normalcy is what we crave when our world has been turned upside down. I'm sure you will find comfort doing all those familiar things. You mentioned Larry's bravery in fighting cancer, but I believe that you too are very brave. You will find your new normal & will also find contentment again. God speed.

    Anita ~ the cabin on the creek
    ...all is grace!

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  5. I've wondered often how you are doing and am glad to see you pop up. I look forward to the talk of gardens, fashion, etc. Love the orchids.

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  6. Good to see you here again. Happy you are finding some rhythm to your days. Those orchids! Gorgeous. I have a teeny one in my bathroom but when it blooms it's the best thing in there.

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  7. Do whatever you like. Your eye and your voice are so original, I'll be here. Never deviate from this, or, change your mind a million times, all of it. I have found grief to be weird and unpredictable, and I only lost my aging mother who suffered from Alzheimer's. So do whatever you like because you are you and we are here because you are you. xoxox.

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    1. What Lisa said, better than I can say.
      I have been waiting for you to return, hoping you are coping. Grief has been a part of my life the last few years, and I understand needing something that is not about grief and loss. Thinking about you often and a wait your next post, what ever it be about.
      Sincerely,
      Gwendolyn Miranda St John Valiente

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  8. It's good to see this post, Janet. I've thought of you often and wondered how you're doing. I can understand why you would like your blog to be a place of normalcy, and I'm looking forward to following along, as your blog has always been one of my very favorites. You're an inspiration in so many ways. Sending love and wishes for peace as you find a new rhythm to your life. xo

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  9. Being Janet is what you do best. No doubt that's what Larry would have wanted for you, too. Go forth, one day at a time, with love and hugs from us all.

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  10. Dear Janet,

    I’m sending you love today. Thank you for sharing with all of us the beauty you see. You have inspired and changed my own perspective so often, and I appreciate you. XO

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  11. So good to hear from you again. You have been on my thoughts. Thank you for writing!

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  12. Janet,

    I've popped on here several times saying a little prayer for you. It's so good to see this post. I'm glad you have your garden. Gee, it all looks so beautiful. I feel exactly the same as the reader posted above, that you have inspired me tremendously, and I continue to be so thankful for all you share.

    Warmly,
    Shelley Rose

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  13. Janet, thank you for the photos of your beautiful garden and home and the gentle words you've shared about your world. I'm also someone who has been re-reading your blog over the last few months and feeling inspired by the beauty and candid sharing of a life well lived. I can't imagine how you're feeling right now, but I hope you'll continue writing as best you can about what is real to you. You are a brave and classy woman. I'm sending love. XO

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  14. Lovely to hear from you. Your blog is a little piece of normality (and beauty) for me too. So I'm looking forward to seeing how your life both rolls on and unfolds.

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  15. Delighted to see a post from you! I look forward to enjoying all that you share. These photos are lovely as always.

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  16. Janet it's so good to see you and hear your voice. Normal is what you need right now, a spot of normal sounds perfect. I've been thinking of you and of how full of grace and strength you have been. Big hug to you. xxx

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  17. I've thought of you often since all this began. Nice to hear from you today. Deepest sympathies. Take it slow and care for yourself.

    Rondi
    rondiquilts@yahoo.com

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  18. So nice to see you blogging and that Peace that passeth all understanding...I too enjoy the Peace in our gardens, just plodding along outdoors and such...There is just something about it...

    I think the daily rhythm is so important. Praying for you as you go through the up and down of grief, climbing up.

    May I humbly suggest something natural that has helped my allergies and such? It has been a lifesaver for me! It's called Histablock by Natures Sunshine. I many times take it twice a day. It's wonderful.

    Blessings to you Janet, from a gal down south. ~Amelia in the Forest

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  19. Thinking of you. Your blog is such a place of beauty and peace and thoughtfulness on the internet (I'm looking right now at your "kindness is never out of style" quote below the comment section :) Life is such a doozy. Lovely to see you write about whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it.

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  20. Dearest Janet, What a sweet surprise to find a new post from you & I love the topics you will be focusing on. I always find such peace & happiness tinkering in my garden, even though my back pays for it afterwards! Your sharing your beautiful roses & other photos made me think of this excerpt from a poem by Sir Thomas Moore:
    "I have a garden of my own,
    With flowers of every hue,
    I love it dearly on my own,
    But I shall love it more with you."
    The words may be a bit abridged from the original poem, but I had painted them on the top of an arbor by the front entrance to our garden years ago & everyone loved that! Please take care & know that I think of you often & send loving & healing thoughts & wishes to you. Katie from Huntington Beach

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  21. Glad you're back... you write about whatever you want.

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  22. So happy. To hear you will be blogging again. The photos of your yard are so beauutiful.
    Connie

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  23. Hello, Janet: So nice to hear from you! You have been daily in my thoughts and prayers. It seems to me that cultivating a garden is a very good place to be at this time. Restoring order and creating beauty are balm for the soul. I am happy to read anything you might feel like writing. And as well, I respect that grief is a personal and private process and I admire your courage. Sending blessings, and may you find joy in the little things, Violet.

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  24. Just this morning, I thought of you and what a lovely surprise to see your post. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and give yourself lots of selfcare - your memories of your precious Larry will fill much of your thoughts. I love that you have something alive and growing in each room, it is so uplifting. Sending you warm thoughts!

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  25. Always love to hear what you have to say. Your photographs inspire me to bring more flowers and plants indoors. I'm off to clip some ferns from the gardent for a small pottery vase. Sending warm thoughts your way as I do.

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  26. Glad you're back Janet! You've been in my thoughts and prayers. So glad you will continue blogging and I'll look forward to your new posts!❤️

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  27. Your home and garden are lovely as always... rhythm is good.

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  28. Taking on a project and a purpose is therapy for the soul. So, let’s do it, talk about all the beautiful things that enrich our everyday lives! We know we all have baggage and sorrows but for a bit this is your/our happy place. If/when you feel the need to express sadness we’re here. For now let’s just give each other a cyber hug and a toast for the future.
    Warmest Regards...Kathy. kacarr (Instagram)

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  29. Janet, it is so good to read your post today.Even though we have never met,I feel we are friends ,through this wondrous invention called the internet. I think of you often and am sending love,as I have gone through a similar experience.At the time of my husband's death I had a five year old to raise and just had to keep going. Thanks for all that you have shared with us and know that you are held in much esteem. xo

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  30. Janet, it is so good to read your post today.Even though we have never met,I feel we are friends ,through this wondrous invention called the internet. I think of you often and am sending love,as I have gone through a similar experience.At the time of my husband's death I had a five year old to raise and just had to keep going. Thanks for all that you have shared with us and know that you are held in much esteem. xo

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  31. Your roses and garden are absolutely stunning. So glad to have you back. Just wanted to let you know how much you are appreciated. Linda

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  32. dearest AJJ.
    that silly but meaningful little affectation I gave you long ago. because you always made me think of the best qualities of Audrey Hepburn and Jackie Kennedy Onassis. and yourself!
    always unique and beautiful style. and now substance in the face of grief and just getting on with life. you write about whatever you want to darling AJJ. you have earned that right. and we're all here. always. we love you. xoxo

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  33. Sooooo delighted to hear from you again and happy that you are going to continue to awe us with your blog. Gardening and decorating are my go to ways to bring calm into my life. I will shortly be moving back to the Central Coast of CA, Arroyo Grande. We gave Bend, OR 2 years and although it is a beautiful place, it has extreme weather and sometimes very smoky skies in the summer, plus the gardening is not to my liking, much too short for the most part. Back to my roots and look forward to your thoughts on every day life...xo

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  34. Your garden and flowers are looking lovely. Do what you can when you can - and forget the rest. We will still be here whenever you feel the urge to write or just post pictures. Please feel no obligation, though. Your world has changed and while we all so want to hear from you, you do what's best and what works for you. Like I said - we will still be here no matter what.

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  35. Like others here I have thought of you and wondered how you were doing...I also was curious if you would continue with your blog. I know for me that spending time in nature and the garden helps me immensely...it is a refuge from so many things that theaten to pull us down.
    Your cottage and garden look so pretty, peaceful and serene...
    lovely roses and those orchids are so elegant and cheerful.
    Take care,
    XO

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  36. So good to hear from you! I echo all that has already been said. I have missed you, and thought of you often. I wish you peace in tending to your garden and reestablishing a new normal. You are a gem!

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  37. So good to hear your voice again... your courage is truly inspirational, and I hope you will want to keep writing. You have created a special place of beauty and simple elegance, a virtual and yet very real garden, that draws both the eye and the heart. Debbie

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  38. Ditto to all that previous commenters have said. This blog is your space - do with it whatever you will/feels right at the time.
    It is lovely to have you back.
    Spud.

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  39. Janet, I think of you often. It's so good to hear from you and see your beautiful gardens. Do write about fashion, gardens, food, decorating, I love it all. Finding some normalcy offers a moment of respite during this time, but it's okay to talk about grief too.
    Take good care.
    Colleen

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  40. I agree with Colleen above- and your place looks so beautiful. You’ll get to the new normal.

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  41. I am so glad to see you back. I was thinking of you just the other day. Hope you are doing ok.

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  42. Hello Janet, I'm so glad to see you here, even sporadically. I think of you often and wonder how you are doing, and I wish for you strength to go forward through what is probably a strange and confusing time. I hope you know that you are loved here. Thank you for the beautiful pictures! - Cheryl

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  43. I was just thinking about you yesterday and wondering how you were. I was delighted to see this post this morning. There is a lovely woman I follow on Facebook. You may find her posts comforting: https://www.facebook.com/authorelainemansfield/

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  44. My dad always says, life is for the living. I hope living yours, and knowing you loved Larry, helps. I've been thinking of you and am so glad to see you again.

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  45. Just LOOKING at your garden lifts my sprits!

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  46. I think of you and Larry every day. Sending you love and sweet memories. We all love you. xxojoan

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  47. I was so happy to see that you had posted again. I have thought of you so often in recent weeks and wondered how you were doing. I will be grateful to read anything you post, I have received so much from you. Your garden and flowers are just beautiful. I find fresh flowers really do help lift the spirits. Love, Darby

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  48. Your garden looks lovely, and the flowers thru-out your home are just so beautiful.

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  49. Welcome back! The roses on the rattan trunk are spectacular.

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  50. You are an amazing woman, Janet. I've been wondering how you're doing. I know our grief journeys are totally different - I have lost a son and it was almost 10 years ago - but I know that one of the little things that kept me sane soon afterwards was housework, puttering, and yard work. It somehow kept me going and kept my mind a little occupied with something else. I also think that establishing order in things also helped.

    Much love and blessings to you,
    Melanie

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  51. I am so glad to see you writing again! Though you don't know me, I have followed your blog for a good while now and love the simplicity and beauty of your posts. My heart has been heavy for you in the past days, but seeing your beautiful pictures again is, I don't know, hopeful? Putting one foot in front of the other when it is so hard seems to make it possible for us all. Thank you.

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  52. I have read all your blogs, never commented, but I have kept you all in my prayers, I always felt a bit shy commenting, you’re such a beautiful classy lady and I’m a plain Jane with paint on my hands and probably earth on my knees but I enjoy your writings, I understand what you mean about wanting the blog to be not a grieving place, I know very well, so my best wishes to you, I wish for you many sun shiney days, lots of blossoms and enough rain showers to keep all happy. I wish for you most of all easy days a head with simple pleasures and lovely dreamed filled sleeps.

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  53. So glad to see you are here again! This is your new normal so ease into it as best you can. You are in our prayers. I am so glad you are posting again!

    Lisa in Fort Worth

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  54. Welcome back my dear! I am ready to listen to anything you want to talk about. xo

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  55. How wonderful to see you back! Yay! More moments of beauty, more great food tips, style and honesty. I'm so grateful for all you've shared and wish all the best for you in this new journey.

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  56. So good to see your post. thinking of you.

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  57. So good to see you! Your little cottage looks fabulous and I pray it and your garden continue to give you inspiration and happy days!

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  58. So happy to hear from you. Your garden and flowers throughout your home are gorgeous. You've inspired me to get out into my yard and do some work! ~suburbanmom2 💐

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  59. I am so sad Janet, that I cannot comment. Please know I am thinking of you, and all my comments do not post. XXXO Robin

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  60. Your words and thoughts are always welcome. Gardens have always had a way of healing, yours looks lovely.
    Karen

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  61. Hey There Back! Glad to see your post and that you are healing into your new normal. Also glad that you intend to keep posting on your blog as your garden and cottage are a treasure. Take your time. We will all be here. Hope...Abundance...Grace xox holly

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  62. So glad to hear from you. One day at a time. Get lots of rest.
    Your flowers are beautiful. Just like you. Marie

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  63. "Hey there" to YOU! Oh, how very like you Janet to find your way back with a saucy greeting, the most beautiful garden trimmings I ever have seen, and a little yellow pepper ripening on the post. It's as if you have fallen into our arms as we all have been waiting and knowing that you would return when you were ready. Sounds like a rhythm/routine is developing ... nothing like nature and household tasks to bring you back into the seasonal orientation you often speak about. And, YES, as you wisely desire, this shall be a place for normalcy. We all can agree to that. with love, Linda

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  64. Janet -

    This is your place to fall back into - we are so glad you are here :-)

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  65. Beautiful photos. Take it slowly. Take healing pleasure from your garden. My garden helped me when I lost my husband nearly 2 years ago. There is something about it that soothes the soul. There will always be bad days but with time they will grow further apart, hopefully.

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  66. ... with the 1st step come bits of strength ...

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  67. So glad you will continue your blog. It's my favorite.
    Love your garden cart!

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  68. So glad to hear you will continue to blog. We certainly need you! You have been in my thoughts and prayers. 💖

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  69. Everything is looking beautiful and you have chosen a good place to start your life again - making things lovely. We will cheer you on and look forward to future blogs about life and life style.

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  70. I loved looking at all your beautiful flowers..the blue wheelbarrow made them pop. I enjoy your summer rooms so cool and peaceful. The orchid is beautiful with the blue n white vase. And always love your porch. I remember the video you did there with the wind blowing through. I loved that. Thank you for sharing 🌺🌺

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  71. Janet, I appreciate your blog even now as you find your way without Larry. You see, you live in Redlands! I spent my childhood in Yucaipa in the 50's. Because there was little in Yucaipa, we always "went down the hill" (Katzen Hill) to shop (Harris Company) and to the movies. My graduating ceremonies were held at the Redlands Bowl. After marriage, I lived in Redlands. Both my sons were born at Redlands Community Hospital. My doctors were at Beaver Medical Clinic. I've spent many years dreaming of returning home, this time to Redlands as Yucaipa is not the Yucaipa of my childhood. Sadly, I shall never be able to return home so reading your blog and seeing your pictures must suffice to quell my homesickness. Although you don't identify where the Gardener's Cottage, I'm guessing it is located somewhere on Highland or Palm, possibly Cypress, because of all the beautiful old homes on those street. Grateful for your blog, I'm Dulcita in Gilbert, AZ

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  72. OH Janet! What a wonderful surprise. I’ve enjoyed and been inspired by your for so many years now. Thank you for this and we really look forward to your posts again. You have always offered a bit of grace to my day with your posts. Been thinking of you and encourage you to continue to go forward with anything that makes you happy and fulfilled. My heart goes out to you.

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  73. I'm gonna try this for the 10,000th time to see if I can leave a message here. I always get zapped. It's been going on for so long I've lost track. If this is my only chance of my words getting through, just sending you love as I've tried to do, Janet, from several posts back. I so admire how you're coping with loss that's too great.

    To try to talk 'normal' on my end, then - - just hoping you're enjoying the beautiful, blooming purple jacarandas this month. And I wanted to say how lovely your photos are in this post; the rooms indoors and also outdoors of your house are tranquil but also so welcoming and warm.

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  74. Hi Janet, I was pleasantly surprised to find a post from you...sorry I didn't see it sooner, haven't done much blog reading the last few days.

    I think it is a good idea to keep things as normal as possible on your blog and talk about the things you love. After all that is what drew your readers here in the first place!

    The orchids look so pretty in that pot... ;o)

    Hugs,


    Linda

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  75. Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything.
    C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed
    Sending hugs and prayers.

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  76. a beautiful post.... The garden is just amazing!!! ... looks to be thriving !!! I still love the outside color on your home!!! Im so glad you are "trying"!!!

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  77. Oh, I am SO happy you are going to blog. SO SO HAPPY! :)

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  78. Bless you Janet! Gardens are a place that inspire and give so much; you take care of the plants, they take care of you. I hope you find your garden to be a place of peace, calm, and quiet happiness. Wishing you love and health. Sincerely, a long time reader, Melissa

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  79. i am so glad that you are back! We lost our son 6 years ago and learned that grief is a long and winding journey. Gardening has helped me through many difficult times.

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  80. I have been following your blog but not left comments or maybe I have and don't recall. That happens.
    You are an inspiration to us all. I love to read what you write and hope you continue always.
    God Bless
    Betsy

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  81. My first visit to your pages since January and my grieving heart is overflowing with prayers and compassion. Through everything, I realize (now) true love never leaves. Only perceptions and forms change. I often forget this. Thank YOU for your beautiful writing and photography; both are comforting. The photos you post can transport a reader within the moment and be gently transformative. I can feel the coolness and be calmed while sitting on your porch (if only with the mind's eye). This, and your presence here, is all grace --- particularly for those days my heart feels cracked open and vulnerable. That sweet grace is calling us to move forward and always be in the "right now." X.Hugs.X

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kindness is never out of style.

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