They say that the quickest way out of any problem is through gratitude. I am a big believer in this. But lately the theory has failed me and so I began to take a deeper look at my problem and this is what I've come up with.
Normally before my feet hit the ground each morning I say a prayer of gratitude. I go through the list of things I am so grateful for and then go about my day. But like I said, lately I've been plagued with a general feeling of uneasiness and sadness. I realize that I need to dig deeper into my gratitude list and see what's up with it.
At the top of every gratitude list I make is my faith. I know I take it for granted because I don't rely on it as much as I need to. I often skip it and go directly to worry, anger, stress. If I were truly grateful for my Higher Power I would make contact with it throughout each day. When I do it, it works beautifully. So why don't I? Well I get lazy and think I have all the answers, which I don't. Which is why life isn't making sense at the moment.
I say I'm grateful for my home, for having a roof over my head. But am I? I really need to go further. My home is comfy and solid. It's small and manageable. It's affordable. It has pretty gardens. Yes I am grateful to live here.
I am grateful for my health. Am I or do I take it for granted? I try and take good care of myself with lots of yoga and fresh air and exercise. I spoil myself with fresh and healthy foods each day. But mental health-wise or emotionally I beat myself up and so my words don't align with my actions.
I say I am grateful for my family but am I? This is much trickier because my actions do not always align with my words. I tie a lot of my personal happiness and contentment upon others. So if others are not acting as I think they should then I get resentful. How can I be grateful and resentful at the same time? I can't. I am slowly, very slowly learning the art of acceptance. Learning to accept the unacceptable is hard but absolutely necessary if I am to be truly grateful for my family. There are no short cuts here, trust me I've tried. :)
Always on my gratitude list is my friends. But am I a good friend? If I'm being completely honest then the answer would be no. Lately I have been taking them for granted and I am ashamed of that. I have been very self-centered and immersed in my own problems when it comes to them. I want to fix this pronto.
My hope is that by writing this out and being able to go back and read it I will be reminded of what I want to change. I truly do not want to take anything in my life for granted any longer. I want to be a better person and accept everyone that I love just as they are. I want to be a better friend, spouse, mother and sister. I want to be happier and lead a more joyous life. I really do believe the answer is through gratitude but for me talking about being grateful isn't enough, I need to live it. Thank you for listening. x
Amen to that. Beautifully written Janet and just the thing I needed to read right now. I've been having a hard time but if I tap into my faith, remember to be truly grateful and if I accept what cannot be changed this storm will pass, thank you dear friend!!
ReplyDeleteMe, too...
Deletethank you dani. for me it's crucial to tap into that faith. i really thought i was but i'm learning that it must be more active for me. hope your storm passes soon too.
DeleteI read your blog from time to time Dani-you seem to lead the charmed upper class life...I really do wonder if you know what hard hard is. It ain't worrying when your Boden package will arrive!
Deletebeautiful <3 and it's always good to P R A Y :)
ReplyDeleteabsolutely!
DeleteWOW. I needed to read this today. Great reminder for me because I too have gotten caught up in my own issues. Thanks for your candor and sharing your personal journey. Joyce
ReplyDeletethank you joyce for helping me feel like i'm not alone.
DeleteThis was so lovely to read, it made me stop and really think about some things in my own life. I, too, need to learn to be more grateful....more so, to show it more. At the end of some days I wish I could go back to the moment I wake up. I know I take too many things for granted, resent too many things, have been too selfish.
ReplyDeleteMy father's illness and his death last fall was a tremendous revelation for me. It's very hard and painful to try and cram a life's worth of gratitude into months and hours. I believe that gratitude, kindness and contentment are the keys to happiness and peace in one's life. I have a long ways to go and knowing that I/we are all in this together, makes me want to try even harder.
thank you sarah. i agree knowing that somehow we are all in this together really does help. x
DeleteI love your blog because I love your honesty, it so often provides food for my body soul and mind. Thank you Janet for being willing to talk about what makes us richer, more open, and live a kinder, more fulfilling life.
ReplyDeletethank you for your kind words anon. the thing i love most about my blog is the people who read it and comment. you guys are such an inspiration for me.
DeleteI am the absolute worst at this. I am a very creative and generally solitary person. Some people find that hard to believe because I'm so loud and obnoxious, but it's true. I think one thing that plagues creative and solitary people is worry. We worry about other people accepting us, accepting our art (in any form), and often for me my creativity can manifest itself by imagining the WORST POSSIBLE outcome of the worst possible scenario. I wish I could remember who told me that feeding anxiety is a choice, not an involuntary reflex. Balancing the scale with positivity, faith, beauty takes energy away from the worry. But I suppose like most things it takes work. Which is probably why I'm terrible at it! :) love this post. Thanks for the inspiration.
ReplyDeletelove this comment. I too and a big worrier so I understand. x
DeleteI love this comment too! Janet....I struggle with this too. What appears on the outside is a mask for all of the turmoil inside. I find it hard to forgive those who've hurt me the worst and I struggle with it every day. It's a journey. You're not alone!
Deletethank you stephen andrew. i would never have pegged you as a worrier. thanks for your tips on balance and choice. they are both so important.
Deleteand thank you ff and wanda too. it is a journey.
Nice post Janet. When I last hit a crack in my life, someone told me about Pema Chrodron, the American Buddhist Monk.
ReplyDeleteShe resonated with me.
I've also found so much inspiration, peace and inner strength from Pema Chodron's books.
Deletethank you shelley and AMW. i will google her tonight and look into getting one of her books.
Deletewe all need someone to listen, I understand so well of which you write, I wish for you to find a way out f this slump but the lessons that you learn from it will be ever lasting, I come here often, not always commenting but I want you to know I enjoy your writings, philosophy and photos so very verrry much, I thank you fo this, feel better soon, it will pass, I feel a bit lost at the moment and wrote of sadness to day as well on my blog, reading your post helped me see my problem more clearly,
ReplyDeletethank you laurie. your post was beautiful. i know i could use a good cry. :)
DeleteJanet- it is wonderful that you use yoga to keep healthy and that you have faith. When you step on your yoga mat and before the asanas begin, remember to forgive yourself. A yogi does no harm to all living things and that also means yourself. Regret, destructive thoughts, resentment are all a bit of violence to oneself. Remember that these feelings do nothing to the person they are aimed at, but wreak havoc with oneself. We are all human, none perfect. Access your higher power, remember to forgive your failings and keep cultivating gratefulness. I know that things will turn around.
ReplyDeleteI remember I was once in a yoga class and I heard an internal voice say, very clearly, "Forgive and move forward." Forgiveness doesn't mean giving up, or ceasing to make an effort, it only means using one's kindest voice to oneself.
Deletethank you kristien and lisa. i don't know where i'd be without my faith and yoga. i can't even imagine! thank you for sharing your thoughts.
DeleteHearing voices is a sign of mental illness.
DeleteHello Janet,
ReplyDeleteThis is a deeply thoughtful and touching post. There will surely be so much here that each and every one of us can identify with. Whatever, it is good to know that one is not alone in dealing with these crises in life and just writing things down or saying them out loud can often not only be a comfort but also become part of the road to a solution.
Friendship is a curious thing and is certainly for us one of the most important aspects of our lives, one of the most treasured parts of our lives but also one of the most problematic. It is, as you say, not enough to be thankful for friends, since friendships do require nurturing to stay alive. We know that only too well as so many of our friends are separated from us by significant distances. So, one does have to be active......to send messages, write letters, meet up, listen, be involved...etc. etc.
Whatever, we are all human and it is in our humanity that we are connected, however distant we may feel from time to time.
thank you jane and lance. your comment as usual is spot on. i do think writing about our troubles can lead to great healing. it has worked for me in the past so i have great faith it will work again.
DeleteI've thought a lot about this topic, too. I've come to believe/experience that gratitude is much more than my "list" - although that helps me identify specifics. It is complete when I come to make the connection between the gifts and the Giver and embrace the fullness of life He offers me. James 1:16-17 says, "So, my very dear friends, don’t get thrown off course. Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light. There is nothing deceitful in God, nothing two-faced, nothing fickle. He brought us to life using the true Word, showing us off as the crown of all his creatures."
ReplyDeletethank you rebecca for the lovely scripture. gratitude is so much more than a list - so true!
DeleteJanet, whenever I'm getting a bite from the black dog I too remind myself how much better I have it than my heroes whose books line my walls. Modern medicine, central heating, electricity, indoor plumbing, etc have made our lives much easier so we seem to manufacture adversity to fill the void. Periodically assessing our priorities is a healthy exercise.
ReplyDeleteyou are so right g. thank you for your comment.
DeleteThere is a lot to think about in your post today...
ReplyDeleteI am a firm believer in attitude of gratitude and try to live without judging others.
Recently we have had a family situation arise which has required immense patience and understanding...we are not through the woods yet and I can see where having a strong faith in a higher power would be of comfort.
I wish you peace Janet.
Your honesty and willingness to share makes your blog voice ring true on so many levels.
Leslie
thank you leslie. i hope your family situation improves and works out. you have a beautiful family and i'm sure it will.
DeleteBoy this struck a chord with me today! Accept people as they are and do not try to manage them...thinking of my son here. I need to let go. Sometimes I think I have but really, I have not totally. Thank you for the reminder.
ReplyDeletethank you dianne. i think letting go of our children has to be one of the hardest things a parent can ever do. i don't even know if it is really possible to do fully. good luck to you my friend.
DeleteI too have been dealing with this kind of thing, and your honesty is refreshing and much appreciated. I hope you keep this topic going in your blog, because I think you have an intelligent point of view.
ReplyDeletethank you anon. i hope your troubles are lightened too.
DeleteJanet, I am the one who introduced myself to you about a year ago at Trader Joe's. I was feeling so down that day, and I'm glad I made the effort to say hello to you. You were so kind and you looked me straight in eyes and gave me a hug before we parted, as though you intuited how I was feeling (or maybe it was more obvious than I thought! haha). Thank you for that kindness, Melanie.
Delete(I can't figure out how to post other than as anonymous.)
hello melanie, i do remember that day! you were so sweet and are so sweet to leave a comment today. i remember leaving there thinking what a nice person you were. :) maybe one day we could meet for coffee or tea? just let me know!
DeleteWell said, and something we all probably need to be reminded of...just don't be too hard on yourself if you don't think you are always doing gratitude right!
ReplyDeletethank you carol. i know i lean towards being very hard on myself so i will take your words of wisdom to heart.
DeleteGreat post! Some good things for me to think about too!
ReplyDeletethank you cate
DeleteThanks for this post. With busy lives it's easy to take these things for granted. I try to be mindful every day of how fortunate I am. I have a wonderful husband. Everything else really depends on the day. My husband keeps me going even on the not-so-great days.
ReplyDeleteyou are welcome anon and i think we are all guilty from time to time of taking people and things for granted. i know i have been.
DeleteJanet, so well said and such a lovely post. This entire last year has been a journey for me with these things you've mentioned. I too have a strong faith and I find myself not applying it as often as I should. After some trying times early this year I began to focus more on the gratitude - taking the time to journal everyday on what I am grateful for. Spending time each morning in prayer and meditation. Reading more inspirational things such as the Dalai Lama quotes. Spending time in yoga and meditation. Putting more love into the preparation of my food, be thankful for it. I spent some time decluttering my home and my closet. I began therapy even to help me come to terms with things and people I've never dealt with. All of these things have changed my perspective and allowed me to realize how very blessed I am in this life.
ReplyDeleteI am healthy. I have a loving family. I have wonderful friends. I have a home that I love and one that makes me feel peaceful. My life is not perfect by any means but walking through all of these things this year has made me realize how I had taken it all for granted. Making these changes has centered me and has made me a much happier person.
Your posts are always so encouraging and wonderful to read! Thank you. May you have a blessed and beautiful day.
hello belinda and thank you. it sounds like we are both on the same path. i wish you much love too. thank you for your kind words.
DeleteNo one is perfect. Don't be so hard on yourself.
ReplyDeletei'm trying. x
DeleteWe can't be perfect all the time. We are all going to have feelings of regret, anger & resentment from time to time. There is nothing wrong with taking a step back & just gathering yourself privately before facing the world.
ReplyDeleteright hollysharon!
DeleteThis is a powerful post and there is a lot in this for us all.
ReplyDeleteI need to hop back on the gratitude bandwagon. Like you I worry myself sick about many things.
Wishing you strength on your journey. x
thanks k. worry is truly the "devils work" as you would say. :)
DeleteSo well said. This post arrived for me at just the right time, when I needed to remember that faith will trump worry, anger and stress if I will loosen my grip on these feelings and let my faith take over. I too will go back and re-read this to remember to keep myself aligned with what really matters. Thank you for your timely reminder and for sharing so much of yourself with all of us.
ReplyDeleteMarsha
thank you marsha. faith really does trump everything. that would make a great tattoo if one was so inclined.
DeleteYou really hit a nerve when you mentioned your happiness depends so much on others. That's some thing I really struggle with. When someone I love is in pain I can't let go and have faith. There's too many times I know when life just doesn't have a ...and they all lived happily ever after. We're all dealing with stuff aren't we?
ReplyDeleteoh gosh anon. that is my biggest downfall. if my kids are not healthy then i really really struggle too. life is hard when our loved ones are ill. i know we have to go on but it is so very hard.
DeleteYou mention "self centered" and yes you are. I don't think I've ever read a post with so many "I" references in it before.
ReplyDeletePerhaps if you were less self absorbed you would be happier.
How can you write a blog and not talk about your self? I think the above is pretty harsh. Anyway, I look forward to the things you do. Keep talking to us, PLEASE.
DeleteDear Janet
DeleteAgree it's very harsh. It's sad when people rush into such aggressive negative comments like the one above. It says much more about the writer than about you. There are people who respond to difficulties by allowing anger and bitterness to build up inside and who resent other people's happiness and success. They usually have little patience for other people's problems too. Generally a lack of empathy. So plse don't let this upset you.
It's really important to reflect seriously on life - the good and the bad things that happen to us, as you've been doing. And on how we deal with these things and feel gratitude for the good things in our lives.
Our son always tells me if I'm feeling a bit low to write down five things to be happy about that day, even just for sunshine or rain, for a flower blooming, or a good cup of coffee. Worry doesn't help anyone and can eat away at us. Sadly, we have to learn to accept that sometimes bad things happen, often they're things that are totally outside our control. We just can't control everything or always be able to protect our loved ones or ourselves. It's difficult at times to accept this. We can only do our best and be there to empathise and support through good times and bad.
Having read through all the other comments, it's wonderful to see how much wisdom and support there is out there for you Janet. So, warmest wishes through these difficult times. We're all in our own ways struggling through to the light and warmth. Sometimes we need to join hands across the net. Best wishes, Pammie xx
I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.
DeleteMartha Washington quote
I try to hold on to this sometimes....
thank you all for your comments and quotes. pammie you are correct, there is so much love and support out there for us all. thank you again. xo
DeleteDidn't blogs start out as personal online journals? When we journal, we write about ourselves and our journeys. It's helpful to a lot of people to write things out...in order to sort things out.
DeleteI beg to differ with the old saying, 'sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me.' Wrong. Words do hurt. Especially harsh words. There's another saying which has to do with craft work, sewing, construction: "Measure twice. Cut once." Think hard before you say something to hurt someone else. Everybody has feelings. Life in the world can be hard enough. Don't add in another layer of pain. Strive to be kind.
Timely post for me! I've been struggling with some issues with one of my kids and never even dared to say, even to myself, that I've been resentful of what is going on. I am grateful for many of this (grown) kid's qualities and love her, but I am sad about some of the behavior. I'm working on moving on and letting it go - you know, the being the mother, being a better person, but some days it's not easy! Somehow makes it easier knowing I'm not the only one with these struggles.
ReplyDeletedear deb. i know admitting the resentment too me a long time. but now that i've identified it, it is somewhat making it easier. maybe it's just another step to acceptance and letting go. i don't really know but at least i can own that feeling now. wishing you much luck in your journey too.
DeleteLove this! Janet, one of the things we did on the Brene Brown course was make two page gratitude journals - point in time pictures of things in our lives in that particular week that we were grateful for. I will try and post mine next week when I was back, but it made me not only pray and write about my gratitude, but made me SEE it, which was VERY powerful!
ReplyDeleteMuch love!
thank you wendy. i look forward to your post.
DeleteFor me, peace and happiness, especially in the tough times, does go much deeper than gratitude alone. Knowing my prayers are heard is paramount. I am never alone. And, I am forgiven. My life has provided many opportunities for me to draw closer to God. I am grateful for my BSF group. I would encourage you to check it out. You will meet some wonderful women and get to know your Bible in a much deeper way. I wish you all the best. Your writing has been a favorite of mine for a long time now.
ReplyDeletethank you kathy. you are right...during tough times gratitude alone is not enough. i really do think (for me) i have to put action to my thoughts and words. thank you again.
Deletetrying times are times for trying.
ReplyDeleteyes indeed
DeleteJanet,
ReplyDeleteI loved this post and from nearly all of the comments I read, you struck a chord with all of us. You share with us the truth and challenge of day to day living and it helps me to take comfort in the fact that there are others that experience some of the same dilemmas I experience. The lows in life seem to me to be there to help use appreciate and enjoy the highs.
Thank you for your honest voice.
Karen
thank you karen. my father in law has always said the same thing about the lows allowing us to appreciate the highs. there is much truth to that right? thank you and wishing you luck in your struggles too.
DeleteDear Janet,
ReplyDeleteYou gave me so much to think about. I am happy at times then the insecurities and worry eat me up. I say I have gratitude for all that I have, yet I question and compare. I may always be that person for whom nothing is enough to make me feel secure. I hope not.
dear anon. i hope that is not the case, but it's a powerful thought. and a scary one too.
DeleteI've lost my mother, father, a brother.... but nothing, nothing compares to the pain of losing the love of your life. We were married 43 years. There doesn't seem to be anything in my life that wasn't some how, some way, connected to him. If I think for even one second that this is how I will spend the rest of my life, I'm done. Rudderless and without a compass, I've lost purpose.
ReplyDeletedear gail, my heart breaks for you. i went to a funeral this weekend for friends who had lost their son to an overdose. i can't imagine their pain and grief or yours. i hope you have someone in your life that you can lean on during this hard time. life is so hard. thinking and praying for you. xo janet
DeleteI've lost my Mother, Father, Husband and Son. I can assure you that absolutely nothing compares to losing your child. My arms ache every day with the longing to hold him again. Time does nothing to dull the pain.
Deletethat's what my friends are saying too ruth. just the thought is unbearable.
DeleteOh Ruth. I am so very, very sorry. I understand...time does not heal all wounds...it's just as painful today a year later.
Deletegail and ruth i wish i could reach through this screen and hug you both.
DeleteThe right time and perfect place for me. Gratitude...I strive to embrace it each day but frequently fall short. I'm grateful, there's that feeling, for you opening my heart and my thoughts on this topic. I talk the talk but also need to walk the walk. Thanks my friend. xo
ReplyDeleteyes jennifer me too. walking that walk is SO important for me right now. i can't state that enough.
DeleteThanks for sharing your feelings so honestly, it really helped me today. What works for me, which may seem paradoxical, is that when I really can't move or shift out of a difficult feeling, say resentment or worry or anxiety rather than try and buoy myself or overcome it by being grateful ( which in itself is of course a good thing) I try and become aware that I'm struggling and I soften into the struggle, remind myself to be compassionate for the fact that at present I can't just overcome what I am feeling. For some reason this works for me, it shifts things ever so slightly and then I can focus on what I am grateful for. I share this in the hope that maybe it will help you too, xo
ReplyDeletethanks anon and that really is so true. often all we need do is, as you say, soften to the struggle. stop fighting it and accepting it is the key really. thank you for sharing.
DeleteI'm an atheist, and I too believe that gratitude, and the lifted heart it brings, is the best possible way to approach the world. That said, to some people gratitude comes naturally, and for some it's a constant practice.
ReplyDeletethanks lisa. boy you are right. i'm one of those people who have to constantly practice it. i really am. thanks for sharing that thought.
DeleteSuch a beautifully honest post Janet and one I can relate to fully, because I feel exactly the same as you right now. Very out of sorts and I'm trying to figure it out just like you. Guess what I came up with - gratitude. I picked up The Magic book from my shelf and have been working through the days - it's all about gratitude, every single day. Maybe there's something in the air at the moment that has some of us feeling unsettled and looking deeper. Even though it's not a nice place to be, I know it will pass. And it will for you too.
ReplyDeletei'm glad you can relate fiona. i have faith it will pass too. i have to have faith that it will. much love.
DeleteIt was my pleasure to listen and you, in turn, helped ME. You wrote it so succinctly. Bravo.
ReplyDeleteOne of my biggest failings is letting my friendships wither on the vine due to feeling I can't fit everything in; putting them on the periphery. I have to fight not to be a loner. (I get that way when life is complicated, which seems to be all the time. I retreat.). You can't neglect your friends, just like you can't neglect the garden. You have to water the flowers..
My dad was very level-headed. Sensitive and sentimental, yet a realist. He had a good perspective on most things. A lot of stuff in his life had been hard but you would never hear him going on and on about it. He found balance. When I would grouse around about this or that, he'd stop my complaining and say, "You forget what you have. Count your blessings...every day." It was one of the last things he said to me when he died. He really believed in it.
thank you vicki for this comment and the one above. my friends mean so much to me and i hope with all my heart i can be a better friend to them. your dad sounds so sweet and wise, i bet you miss him so much.
DeleteI don't think it's unusual to find ourselves centered on ourselves. What is unusual is the awareness of it and the desire to change. Just by writing this out you're on your way. I can feel it. It's hard to be human. Don't forget to be kind to yourself too.
ReplyDeleteXo j
thanks jane. it is hard to be human and i promise to take your advice.
DeleteThe answers, and peace, you seek is found within your individual spirit and sense of self, Janet. Perhaps a therapist could help you work through some of the ongoing issues that you struggle with.
ReplyDeleteSophia
that is not a bad idea sophia (love your name btw, that was my grandmothers name) i am actually thinking of checking into it. x
Deleteare you a virgo?
ReplyDeleteI'm putting my money on Capricorn! I may have that filed in my head from reading for a while though.
Deletestephen is right. :)
DeleteWell Janet whether you feel it or not..You ARE a good sister. I love you!
ReplyDeletejeanne
awww thanks jeanne. i love you too! xo
DeleteHi Janet,
ReplyDeleteI haven't been commenting much lately...daughter's wedding is fast approaching and I am a little late reading this post but I will take a moment to do so.
I know that we are supposed to be grateful for all of the things that God has given us, but why is it so hard for us to apply this on a daily basis? For me I suppose I am a bit of a control freak, don't like change and I want things perfect so when life throws me a curve sometimes I have difficulty accepting it. If everything is fine, then life is wonderful. But when something interferes with that I can just feel my whole demeanor change. I'm a worrier too. I wish I could change those things about myself! My husband on the other hand, just rolls with the punches. He is under a lot of stress helping out with his parents personal stuff along with managing their restaurant part time on top of his regular job. He does not have much of a life right now but he doesn't complain much, if he does then I KNOW he's sort of at the end of his rope. But I do remind myself that a lot of what we are dealing with is normal life stuff and we are not alone. My girlfriend and I just had this conversation last week. We are both kinda "stuck" right now with the whole aging parent thing and agreed that we have to just accept things for how they are at the present. Someday it will pass. Life goes on.
My husband just said the other day even with some of the stuff we are dealing with that we need to just "be happy" and be grateful for each day. I agreed. :)
Linda
xo
P.S. I'm grateful for your blog! :)
This was beautiful to read, so many people wouldn't even to think that the way out of feeling bad or sad is to be a better friend, more thoughtful towards others etc. The only thing that worries me is how hard you are being on yourself. It is wonderful to want and to work towards being a better friend and more truly deeply grateful, and i know you will get there. Just wish there could be a way for you to do it without you believing that you are failing so horribly now. I bet you would not be as hard on a friend who is as kind and thoughtful as you are (and you are) as you are to yourself .
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your post, I have one word for what you have said and that is AMEN!
ReplyDeleteI am just becoming aware of just how private of a person I am. I internalize. It's bad. It's not healthy and I know it. Your post is a form of therapy in itself. To me also. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteThe only meager thing I can say to you, that I say to myself, is that life comes in ebbs and flows. xo
~diane
I've read this post and the comments and replies a few times through, both yesterday and this morning. Was having trouble replying b/c it is hitting right in the gut. This worrying control freak NEEDS to let people just be who they are, mistakes and all, even if it is life-threatening, as I cannot live other's lives for them. I wish I had more. Its so difficult to be grateful through worry and hurt; it almost seems fake b/c I don't feel that grateful. I'm not sure it's always possible. We cannot do all the right things all the time. I wish we could though! Thanks for the post. XO
ReplyDeleteLearning to acceptable the unacceptable is hard but absolutely necessary. You have know idea how much I needed to read that. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI feel that we are kindred spirits.
ReplyDeleteYou delight me and make me giddy with gratitude.
pve
It is difficult to be happy, when you are worried, especially when you are worried about a family member.
ReplyDeletePS: I don't see you as a lazy person, in no way!
beautifully said janet. your words are music to my ears. xo terri
ReplyDeleteDear Janet,
ReplyDeleteI've been through a similar struggle myself lately. I know mine is caused by hormones and stress, but it's not easy to get up in the morning with an undeniable feeling of sadness. I am a person of faith too, and I pray every morning before getting out of bed and thank Him for all the blessings and even some of the challenges as learning opportunities. But some days, it just doesn't work. I'm learning to accept that it's part of life and it's okay to have ups and downs. Because we can't fully appreciate the time we are at the top of a mountain unless we don't know what it feels like to be at the bottom of a valley. Sending my love your way! xx
Janet. Come to find you on your blog as not seen you on instagram for a while. Just wanted to say you are one of the most lovely and wonderful people I have met. Truly. Sarah XXX
ReplyDeleteHope I'm not too late to chime in. Speaking your heart in that way can be so difficult, letting others know of your pain can be so difficult, staying strong in the face of unhappiness can be so difficult.........you're brave to put it all out there. I'm new to your blog, so sending you good "vibes" and hoping to see you return to a happy place. All the best.
ReplyDeleteJen (NY)