stuff will never make me happy

So why do I keep buying things?

I think in troubling times I often reach out in a retail sort of way to find some comfort but it never works. It is temporary at best. I always think that if I get what I want...then I'll be happy.  But the truth is that for me, getting what I think I want never makes me happy.  Reaching outside myself for comfort always leaves me empty.  It is only through accepting exactly what is at this very moment, do I find peace.

So my holiday wish to you dear readers is that you find peace and happiness right here in the present moment - no matter what that moment holds.  Things are not going to be okay.  They ARE okay right now.

xo



64 comments

  1. Janet, your posts are always just right! Wishing you and yours an abundance of peace and happiness! xo

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  2. Peace and love to you and Larry. 🌲

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  3. Janet, your post is spot on! I have known so many people who want more "things", but when they attain them, they only seek more. As you state, I believe acceptance & appreciation are the real keys to happiness. Sounds very "Zen" but that works for me! I wish you & your husband the best holiday that you can have & hope the New Year is filled with healing & peace for you both. Sent with love,
    Kathy from Huntington Beach

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  4. Amen, Janet! Well said!
    Thoughts & prayers with Larry & you.
    Linda

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  5. You've "hit the nail on the head!" Thank you!

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  6. Janet,

    I've been thinking about you and Larry a lot. I hope this holiday season fills you with comfort and peace.

    Deb

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  7. Wise words, Janet. Almost everything I have bought over 5 decades has only brought me fleeting happiness even though at the time I believed it would change my life or 'complete' me or turn me into someone else. Most of it is long gone. I wish I could have all that money back.

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  8. A wonderful reminder, especially during this time of the year. Thank you. I wish you and yours a peaceful holiday, filled with love and family.
    Karen

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  9. Very apropo. You and Bukowski. I am a bit of a minimalist and have been struggling lately, trying to make more thoughtful purchases when I do need to buy something. I try to remember the William Morris quote "Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful."

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  10. Peace and healing to both you and Larry.

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  11. I couldn't agree more! The less I have, the happier I seem to be. Acceptance is definitely the key. Gratitude, as well. Each post you write is so inspiration to me. I often think of a quote you once posted-"some people are so poor, all they have is money." I am striving for a rich life without material things. Wishing you much peace, love, and comfort this holiday season!!

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  12. Janet, thank you for your holiday wish, a priceless gift which I promise to pay forward.
    Deep breath . . . ah, the "present" - a lovely place to be.
    Blessings to you, Larry, and your family.

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  13. I have wondered about you lately, hoping the best for both you and Larry. Your words are wise and a very good reminder for me. I wish peace for you both.

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  14. Absolutely. Those quick fixes just clutter my home and sense of peace. I’ve become very mindful what I do buy. It takes willpower to resist! I’m focusing on cozy done in simple ways. Peace and love to you and Larry.
    Best,
    Kathy

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  15. Thank you for that beautiful reflection, Janet. It's perfect for this season and every day afterward. Wishing you a peaceful holiday and a happy new year.

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  16. The Older I get the less I need or want. Wishing you, Larry and your family peace and love.
    Darby

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  17. SO TRUE! Stuff is temporary happiness!

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  18. You are spot on Janet. All we have is the moment that we are living right now and we can choose peace and happiness even in the most difficult of times. Stuff is just stuff, easily lost in a moment. May you find joy this Christmas and peace with those you love most creating memories that are more valuable than diamonds. In the words of Tiny Tim, "God Bless us Everyone."

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  19. I have never been able to breathe around a lot of stuff! it's so easy to live with less. if people only knew!
    it doesn't have to be called minimalism. maybe just the freedom of simplicity! minimalism seems to make people think of RULES. I like to think of it as easy. and beautiful. and kind. to the planet especially! have a wonderful Christmas AJJ. love to you and Larry and your whole family! YOU are a treasure. XOXO

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    1. Thank you for these wonderful words

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  20. It's like overeating--eventually the idea of more becomes a turn-off. I became a minimalist by circumstances, rather than by choice, but I have grown comfortable with it. At the same time, my eyes have been opened to just how wasteful I am, as green as I have tried to be, and I feel another brake on acquisition.
    Your message to appreciate now is a good reminder. Thank you!

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  21. Wishing you and your husband a very Merry Christmas. May "the peace that surpasses all understanding" envelope you both this season!

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  22. Janet, I do not comment here as often as I could. One of my "paring down" goals for 2019 is to weed out the extraneous blogs in my feed (spoiler: you aren't getting weeded) which should free me up to leave more comments on the blogs that remain. I mostly want bloggers to know how much enjoyment I get, and appreciate the hard work that goes into writing a blog. Your posts are so thoughtfully stated and the reader is left wishing for much longer posts (NOT a criticism, a compliment!) I often think of you and Larry even though we don't know each other, and send up prayers when I do. I hope that you two have a wonderful and merry Christmas, and that 2019 brings many delights and healing for you!

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  23. I think as I grow older, it is time that makes me happy. Time with with family, friends and especially my two granddaughters. We will never get it back and so little of it ahead. Spend it wisely.

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  24. Since today is the winter solstice, I am spending time in the dark, just being cozy and reflecting and meditating - trying to heal toxic thoughts and energies. I wish the same for you. Much peace and love...xoxo

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  25. Not having "stuff" makes me happier these days unless it is truly meaningful. Simplicity in all aspects of life is liberating for the soul. Life is short and getting shorter everyday for all of us past a certain age. All the best to you and your's.

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  26. Wishing you and your family a joyous and festive holiday.

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  27. wow how this resonates with me. It's taken me years to learn this - how I wish I knew this in my youth.But I guess it wouldn't mean as much as it does now if I had.

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  28. This is a well timed post, Janet, & very well said. Wishing you, Larry & family lots of small, meaningful moments that bring the peace that can only be felt in those moments. We miss so much of what is truly valuable in life when we are distracted by the extra stuff that only becomes burdensome.

    What I wouldn't give for the gift of an ordinary day with my husband once more!

    Anita ~ the cabin on the creek
    ...all is grace!

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  29. Time spent with those we love - that is my Christmas treasure. Wishing you and your family peace and joy.

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  30. Dearest Janet sending my very best wishes to you and Larry for a peaceful Christmas

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  31. I've just left my mothers home. She is slowly loosing her memory and i wish for just time with her now. It al means nothing if we can't make a memory from it
    Good or bad. Have a blesses holiday.

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  32. It was so good to see your post today. Wishing you and your family a closeness and a time of peaceful moments. I've not been in the middle of gifts and shopping but tried to enjoy the special moments given in love. Praying for your Larry and you this Christmas.

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  33. Darling Janet,
    Happy Holidays from Umbria. Sending you peaceful and loving thoughts, Robin

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  34. I wish the very best Christmas and Holidays to you and your husband. My mother had a small ceramic plaque that said, "The Time to be Happy is NOW" so true. As I get older, I often revisit places where I can hear the conversations and laughter of loved ones, bittersweet and happy at the same time. Now as far as having less stuff...I love lots of stuff. You must not have heard of the Goodwill Outlet, or what is called the "Bins"--where things are bought by the pound. You have such an abundance of beautiful things there that you end up having a completely different view of stuff--because there you can get beautiful things for very little. I wish you could go with me.

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  35. Merry Christmas janet!! This is perfect!! Xoxo

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  36. It's Christmas Eve and I am stopping by to leave my good wishes of hope, healing, love and joy for you and Larry. Thank you for being you and bringing kindness, peace and a beautiful sense of style to the world. Merry Christmas!

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  37. Best wishes for health and happiness to you and your Larry over this Christmas season! I hope you enjoyed wearing your vintage while blouse for your festive events of the season. It was a darling purchase. I know what you mean about stuff - I have been retailing too much myself as I had sad news of my dear daughter and her partner and so precious young family moving from Vancouver to a small town 15 hours away. Oh my! I have brought home stuff that did nothing to soothe my soul in the end. Peace and joy have to be cultivated from within. I wish I was better at it. I pray for you daily and wish you a very happy New Year and a healthy and happy 2019. xo

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  38. Wishing you a beautiful New Year!
    Thinking about you and your husband. Enjoying past posts. Prayers going your way.

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  39. Enjoying past posts also, Janet. I went back to your January posts of 2016 and made your butternut squash soup in a renewed commitment to more plant based eating. Yummy! Thank you for everything you've ever posted. I miss you and am sending daily prayers on your behalf. Love and hugs. XO .

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  40. You are very much on my mind. Your picture pops into my head and I think of you. I'm somehow connected to you and the troubling circumstances your family is going through. Just know you are loved and missed. Sending healing vibes, love and peace. Renate
    PS Eagerly awaiting your next blog.

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  41. Janet, once again late at night and I find myself thinking of you and Larry. I confess I keep checking up on you every few days. I Hope you know how much we, your blog followers, all love you and are concerned for you both...... and for myself, praying for you both.

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  42. Like others, praying and thinking of you!

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  43. Janet i hope all is going well with you and Larry. As well as you can expect that it. Peace to all in 2019

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  44. Thinking of you all. Praying for you all. Enjoying past posts..take care..nancy

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  45. Hello, Janet. I really hope this message finds its way to you, since none of my prior recent comments seem to have reached you. None of them published. A warped Google thing perhaps.

    I can only imagine what you and Larry have been going through. I do hope you both are having the grace of sharing very special time together.

    As of today, I accept that I am really not feeling well at all. It feels like I'm taking a vertical slide to another plane. I am trying to steer the ship as well as I can while it feels that God is the one truly directing it. I am working to make some plans, reaching out to those I love. I trust it will be glorious on the other side, but leaving my beautiful, perfect-for-me husband is heart wrenching. At the moment I am feeling the heavy sadness I managed to wrangle earlier today. I hurt and seem to feel in my soul that my moment will be coming soon. I have been lucky to make it this far, so no complaints. It's just so damn difficult to leave it behind.

    You are such a classy, beautiful lady, Janet. Thank you for a blog that brings beauty and soul-serious topics to light. Keep that beacon going. Cheers, Ardith

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    1. ardith i'm sorry your comments have not made it through the google site. i'm glad this one did though. you are lovely and brave for sending us a comment. it's a difficult time for us too. i'm unable to write about it at the moment. i feel your lightness and love and also all the other commentors. letting go is the hardest thing i've ever had to do...much love to you dear one. xoxo

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  46. Dear Janet, you have given us so much encouragement through your blog. I hope you know how much your words have helped us all in so many ways. My heart goes out to you and Larry. I pray you feel all of us lifting you up. We are by your side in spirit. xoxo

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  47. OH JANET..................SENDING LOVE AND A BIG GIG HUG!
    XOXO

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  48. Dear Janet . . . your last comment brings us into the moment when you and Larry need us most. I only can promise to stand by and I will - shower you with love - lend strength - promise that it will be alright odd as that may seem.

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  49. Dear Janet - I haven't commented in a very very long time but have been following you still. Many things have changed in my live over the last 3 years, it was hard at the beginning, but in many ways my life is so much better now. In challenging times it's the little things that keep us going, for me your blog has always been one of these. My journey though was a voluntary one, nothing compared to what you are going through right now. I wish you all the strength you need. You always ask us to share what is going on in our life - one of the things I have been doing - together with my soon to be husband, is renovating a 100 m2 town house from the 1900s in the lovely small town of Haarlem here in the Netherlands. I had to think of you many times during this - due to the age of the house certain things just cannot be done - re-wiring the ceilings would have meant destroying the original moldings.... so we have no ceiling lights.... storage space is very sparse in comparism to my old 1980s new build - so about 70% of our "possessions" had to go..... which was a relief for both of us in many ways. A lot of 'leftovers' from both our past relationships were finally let go of. Thinking of you in many ways - Take care - Mireille

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  50. Dear Janet, I have been praying for you and Larry from the beginning of your journey. As part of healing the painful process of "letting go" there can only be joy and gratitude for having had a beautiful life together for so many years. May you find solace in the warmth of the love you are receiving from all of us whose lives you have touched over the years. - Jan-Leanne

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  51. Dearest Janet I am thinking about you and this difficult road you and Larry have had to travel. It is one I know far too well. Please take comfort in the fact that you are in many prayers, especially mine. xo

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  52. Dear Janet
    I think of you and Larry every day and hope you both feel all the love and strength sent by so many people around the world.

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  53. Thinking and praying for you and your family..on this Sunday...
    Peace and comfort...

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kindness is never out of style.

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