The last two coherent words she spoke were..."I'm unstoppable." This from a group email her daughter sent out on Wednesday morning a few hours after Melinda left us. Never in my life have I met anyone quite like Melinda. Her energy and positive spirit kept stage IV ovarian cancer at bay for almost 6 years. She defied doctors, nurses and modern medicine. She was a living lesson on how to live fully present and in the now. I know she reached out to a few readers of this blog who had cancer or who had friends that did. That was her way, always caring, a friend to everyone and always with her big smile. I've never lost a close friend before and the feeling of emptiness is immense and unexplainable. I don't know how to act or what to say all I know is that I miss her so much. x
Dear Janet,
ReplyDeleteSending deepest sympathy and love.
-t
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you a big hug from San Diego!
ReplyDeleteAndrea
Janet - I am so sorry for your loss. Melinda sounds like an incredible person and I pray that her spirit continues to live in and through you and all who loved her.
ReplyDeleteJanet,
ReplyDeleteI'm so very sorry for your loss. I've not lost a close friend yet. I can't imagine how awful that must be.
Someone once explained to me that losing a close friend is like losing a part of yourself, because they knew you in a way no one else did. I lost my best friend to cancer and the sadness is still so profound. I am so sorry you have to endure this too. God bless from Ottawa, Ontario.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace and comfort. x
ReplyDeleteAw Janet, I'm so sorry for your loss. xo
ReplyDeleteOh no. You must be heartbroken.
ReplyDeleteDear Janet, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Tanja
xx
Hi Janet, I am so sorry. I went through and have been going through friends battling cancer. A couple have passed away. It is almost unbearable.
ReplyDeleteToday, I have a pre-op appointment with my obgyn. He will be removing pre-cancerous cervical lesions and I am scared. It's the mystery of what could be found once the procedure begins, also, I have never been put under general anesthesia. My sister had the same thing done twice. The first time for pre-cancer cells like me, and the second time was for cancer. Wish me luck, and everyone please keep up with your regular checkups :)
Warmly, D
What a beautiful smile she had. Melinda was an inspirational lady.
ReplyDeleteSending you much love. xxx
Sending you my deepest sympathy. You will miss her and I know that you will keep her memory close to your heart.
ReplyDeletetake care,
XO
Oh Janet, I am so sorry. Deepest condolences and hugs from the SF Bay Area.
ReplyDeleteI feel for you.Last Tuesday i lost my best friend from myasthenia gravis.She has beeb so brave,so optimist after having battled the disease for 20 years.I cannot believe i have lost her.She has been an inspiration for many people!Have courage Janet....
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry for you loss.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and sending you my best wishes. You held her hand in the trenches and I can't think of a more wonderful gift for one friend to give another.
ReplyDeleteSorry for your loss. Each time we lose someone our sorrow is individual to that special someone...there aren't any words to express what we feel for these losses....it's just an ache that we learn to live with....an emptiness that never gets filled....yet we endure and find comfort and happiness again without ever forgetting the special person we lost...and if we're lucky we remember to cherish the others we still have!
ReplyDeleteLaura
There is no truer measure of friendship than being there in the tough times. I wish you ( and all those who feel this loss) peace.
ReplyDeleteJanet I'm so, so sorry. Sending love your way my friend. XO
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss, Janet. I lost a childhood friend, my best bud from the age of 3, to HIV in the early 1990s and it was crushing. I felt lost. Friends are family.
ReplyDeleteJanet, I'm so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteI am one of the friends Melinda reached out to with cancer. We had wonderful conversations and her upbeat attitude was infectious. We never even met but talked by phone a lot. She was wonderful to me!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. I have lost close friends and part of you never really gets over it. It reminds us of what your friend lived by : be present and treasure every moment. Hugs to you, dear.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss, she had a beautiful smile and her light shines through her photo. She will always live in your heart and memories
ReplyDeleteSending you a hug
Lourdes
I am so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry for the loss of your best friend. xxx Leah
ReplyDeleteoh darling girl. my AJJ.
ReplyDeleteI remembered your post about her as soon as I saw the name.
Melinda.
and now. yes. she is right. she is truly unstoppable.
she is free.
and no doubt beginning the big adventure.
but she left the hole you must endure.
tears glistening here. for you. for her loss. xoxo♥
What a beautiful smile, a beautiful aura your dear friend had. You will miss her terribly and always remember how much a part of her is in you.
ReplyDeleteDear Janet
ReplyDeleteThinking of you at this sad time. Melinda must have been a wonderful person and a good friend. Your post is a lovely tribute to her and your friendship. Pammie xxx
She will always be with you.....
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteSo very sorry for your loss, Janet--she must have been truly remarkable and will be greatly missed.
ReplyDeleteSteve Job's sister, in his eulogy, concluded with his last words: "Oh WOW".
Having walked my Dad home through terminal cancer, and honored to be with him at his passing, those words opened my eyes once more to what we will know when we are reunited with those we love.
Oh Janet, I am so sad to hear you have lost your dear friend. I loved the photo of the two of you that you posted on instagram not too long ago. Obviously two very good friends.
ReplyDeleteI read very little blogs but yours is one of my favorites. I'm so sorry for the loss of your amazing friend. I lost one of my closest friends a year and a half ago to a heart attack while I was with her that day. She was such a nature lover and I believe she sends me little signs that she is still around with her spirit. I have a little garden area with a plant she had given my husband. I use that area as a little dedication to her. Bird feeder and hummingbird feeder close by. Nature has really helped me with her loss.
ReplyDeleteBe gentle with yourself while grieving.
Janet, so very very sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the sadness of losing a friend. Always liked the saying "friends are the family we choose for ourselves." She will always be with you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss of a close and wonderful friend. My April issue of Country Living arrived today and your cottage looks fabulous. Connie
ReplyDeleteJanet I am so sad to read this I know how close you were.
ReplyDeleteMy friend's son died at Christmas and her grief is still raw and she is angry. I have no advice except just to go with what you feeling.
The saddest thing is how much you crave their physical presence, which is the very thing that is gone.
Hold tight. x
What a succinct, spot-on way to put it. All true. I very much know that anger. I've been fueled by it when I otherwise couldn't have moved a finger. It's one of the stages of grief (although there are some who dispute the idea of "stages" in a grief cycle). Everyone goes through grief at their own pace, trying to put one foot in front of the other...and although grateful for memories, you want the person back, right here, right now. It's just, so hard...
DeleteI read this recently, that you have to give grief its time. You have to give TIME...well, TIME. The gift of time is that it helps heal your shattered heart.
Thinking of you ever since I read your post earlier today, Janet. I've lost classmates by now, at my age; my own family members, including my sibling, my parents...but never a best gal-pal. I can't imagine what you're going through; take gentle care of yourself more than ever; try to get your sleep. We're human; it's emotion...and very fatiguing.
Janet, I am so very sorry.
ReplyDeleteDeepest sympathy to you Janet. I lost my husband almost 8 years ago. I realized that the empty space I feel in my heart is the piece he took with him. Somehow it hurts less to think of it that way. At times grief is almost too much to bear when we lose those we love.
ReplyDeleteMy sympathy at the loss of your beautiful friend. I remembered you writing about her before and know you were close. So brave.
ReplyDeleteThis comes just as one of my own close friends was suddenly diagnosed with breast cancer last month and has already had her op, waiting to see how it goes on. Such a shock; she is the first of my few close friends to be ill this way. I have no idea how to act, either. But the fear, anger and frustration are so palpable.
I hope this community offers you some solace and comfort, as well as distraction (like having your lovely home featured in CL this week!). Hugs from across the world.
I'm so very sorry Janet. She sounds like such a beautiful person. You can
ReplyDeletestill cherish her in your heart. I lost my best friend to cancer when she was
43 which was many years ago and I still think of her often.
Kindest and warmest regards
Caroline
They say that one's spirit lives on until the last person they touched is gone. How lucky she was to have a friend who shared her light with so many who never had the opportunity to know her in person, on a blog called The Gardener's Cottage -- and all of the life lessons that a garden teaches us about life, death, and the seasons of it all. xo
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. There's nothing like the crushing feeling of grieving. I hope the road to healing comes swiftly and your memories go back to the happy times and the memory of such raw sadness isn't so painful. Peace be with you.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you. You were lucky to have such a great friend. XO
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and all who knew your beautiful friend xo
ReplyDeleteLove and prayers to you and Melinda's family.
ReplyDeleteMary
Oh, Janet, I'm so sorry. XO
ReplyDeleteJanet,
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you and Melinda's family. I am so sorry for your loss.
Sincerely,
Debra from SENC
Janet your beautiful tribute to her on this post is enough! I am so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteJanet, I am so sorry for your loss. Keeping you in my thoughts.Mary Ann
ReplyDeleteAll the love and sympathies, to you, and to her family.
ReplyDeleteI lost my husband & best friend almost 4 years ago...very suddenly from a massive stroke. At this point I can tell you that the ache doesn't go away, but becomes more dull...not so piercing. However, at unexpected moments you will feel that stabbing pain as it hits you all over again what you have lost. Allow yourself to do some real, heart-wrenching sobbing once in a while. I just think we too often try to hold it together.
ReplyDeleteDo enjoy your memories of her & laugh all over again at some of the funny moments you have shared. She is never truly gone as long as she lives in the memories of family & friends. What a beautiful legacy she has left behind & how fortunate you have been to have had her as a friend. Such a blessing!
Anita ~ the cabin on the creek
Great article, Thanks for your great information, the content is quiet interesting. I will be waiting for your next post.
ReplyDeleteMelinda sounds like a firecracker! Thank you and her for reminding all of us that we only get once chance to live our happiest life! I am so sorry for this sad loss but grateful for her message.💫
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you will take comfort with lovely memories of Melinda and gratitude that you were blessed to be a part of her life.
ReplyDeleteYour sadness is deeply felt, and prayers of comfort is sent out for you and her family.
ReplyDeleteMelinda, is now residing in his tent in the shelter of his wings.
What a beautiful soul your friend is, indeed she is "unstoppable" look at her beautiful new life and where she sits.
Prayers of comfort sweet Janet.
Xox
Dore
Oh Janet I am so very sorry you have lost your friend. My condolences to you and to her family and friends. Suzie xxxxx
ReplyDeleteDear Janet, I'm very sorry about your friend's death. I'm will light candles for her, and for you, tomorrow at the Basilica of St. Denis in Paris where I am visiting.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth
My deepest sympathies.
ReplyDeletexoxo
I'm so sorry💕
ReplyDeleteSending love
ReplyDeleteI LOST a dear dear friend about 7 years ago. She was 49 and a PRIMA BALLERINA.She impacted my LIFE greatly......I met her in an antique shop I worked at and prayed she would return.She did which allowed us to begin a friendship as we lived in the same town.She left TWO Girls behind.She enters my mind every day in some way................YOU HOLD ON TO YOUR FRIEND.SEE her in a rose or at a garage sale with you.Think to yourself what would MELINDA BUY!Keep her close.........
ReplyDeleteSO SORRY for your loss.............I know it;s not not like anything we have experienced before..........XX
A beautiful picture of your friend Melinda and hugs to her family and you,Janet. Take care, Kathleen in Az
ReplyDeleteMy deepest sympathies to you Janet, on the loss of your dear friend. XO Robin
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for your loss Janet. Melinda seems to have been a remarkable lady.
ReplyDelete/Bea
I am so sorry for your loss. I received my new issue of Country Living today, your home is lovely.
ReplyDeletedear Janet....Sending you love and light. I am so deeply sorry for this great loss. You are in my thoughts..... xxoj.
ReplyDelete“The soul takes flight to the world that is invisible but there arriving she is sure of bliss and forever dwells in paradise.”
ReplyDelete― Plato
Janet, I am so sorry about Melinda!! I can't imagine losing a close friend like that, you must be devastated. We don't encounter many individuals like that in our lifetime that leave such an impression on us and when they are gone it is so difficult. She sounds like a very special person.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely tribute to your friend.
Linda
xoxo
A beautiful poem by Henry Van Dyke
ReplyDeleteGone from My Sight that begins...
I am standing on the seashore, a ship at my side...
My condolences,
BarbaraG
Oh Janet, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend, Melinda. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteWhat beautiful heartfelt words for your friend. I love that she reached out to others i the midst of her own illness. Peace to you Janet.
ReplyDeleteWe should all be so lucky to have this kind of a friend. Rest in peace Melinda, and I am so sorry Janet.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and sympathy to you. I'm sure she's smiling at you all from Heaven.
ReplyDeleteMy deepest sympathies on your loss Janet. she sounds like such a remarkable women.
ReplyDeleteDarby
I'm so sorry. I hope that you can find peace remembering your amazing friend.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for the loss of your beautiful friend. I wish you much comfort and happy memories you have shared with Melinda. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Janet, for you, for Melinda and her family. We just lost my husband's sister, so you have all of my deepest empathy. Ardith
ReplyDeleteIt's so sad when we lose people we love. I'm sorry for your loss and mat she rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to read this, Janet, and send you my love and sympathy. When you lose a friend you also feel as though you have lost a little of yourself, those special times and the little things that were particular to your friendship. I have been to two funerals already this year and it is easy to feel vulnerable. All the more reason to live life well, with kindness and style, as you are doing.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about your friend.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss, I mourn with you. I HATE cancer in any shape or form, it spares no one.
ReplyDeleteYou can see the energy and joy radiating from Melinda. Sometimes, words cannot express our deepest emotions; our hearts are torn apart, but the memories and love you shared will help with the pain.
ReplyDelete~skye
I'm so sorry. 2 years ago I lost my friend of 25 years to ovarian cancer 2 weeks after losing my baby born prematurely. Death is such a hard thing to wrap our heads around. The pain neverending. But it allows the ones still living to have a second chance at life. To appreciate what really matters and to live fully whatever days we have left.
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry. What excruciating pain it must be. Just to think about losing the ones you love is terrifying enough. To actually experience it the way you have is beyond comprehension.
DeletePlease do live your life fully. I hope you have a long, healthy, and fulfilling one.
D.
Oh Janet....I'm so sorry! I've often thought of your friend Melinda who only I knew through your words. I know she was brave and lovely and so fortunate to have you as her friend. I'm so terribly sorry! With much love, annie
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss
ReplyDelete