12.09.2014

have some decorum



Ok, so yesterday afternoon I get an email from Melanie, a friend I met through this blog.  She tells me about this blog called Have Some Decorum and that I must read it.  So I did.  I started with her about page and was sucked in immediately and then went on to read her hilarious post about tinsel. The next thing you know 4 hours have passed and I've just about read her whole blog. To say Ellie is an inspiration is like saying the Sistine Chapel is just okay.  Seriously, I cannot believe that people exist in this world that have the kind of spirit and humor that she has.  She is beautiful beyond description and when I clicked on her blog this morning (after dreaming about her all night) and saw Ellie's post today, well I just cried.  Please, please, I beg of you, and I never beg really, to click over and read and pray.  Pray hard please for this person I just met virtually yesterday.  Stephen Andrew, I think you will particularly love Ellie.  I don't know why but I just think you will.  You all will I know. If you would be so kind, please leave her a comment, sending love.  If you are not in the Christmas spirit or if you think you have it bad, maybe have an illness or job loss or divorce or death recently, please read and it will put everything in perspective.
Thank You.  x



64 comments:

  1. I did the same thing, discovered her a week ago and read her entire blog. Unbelievable bravery. She's spunky and irreverent and I'm amazed she can even do what she does. I was worried about her too when she didn't post for several days and was relieved to see a new posting, but she is so ill. Thoughts and prayers for sure!

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  2. P.S. Just discovered your blog recently too, love it!

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  3. When I discovered her blog, I, too, read the whole thing in one day. She's wonderful!

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  4. Thank you for sharing this link. She is amazing and I've learned a lot about ALS. I too live with a terminal disease, but my stuff seems pretty minor compared to hers.

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  5. Wow. All I can do is cry and think how grateful I am. Thanks for sharing.

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  6. HOW did I never know about this blog?! I just read a few posts and can't believe how incredibly intuitive and hilarious her writing is. Thank you so much for sharing! I can't wait to be finished with work so I can read more. You were so right. I emailed her and told her she talks like I talk to myself but would never have the will to publish on a blog!

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  7. Thanks for the recommendation, Janet.

    And Stephen Andrew, I miss your blog!

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    1. Thank you! I just put it back up about a week ago :)

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  8. I immediately clicked and read three posts. Must control myself or will do no work at all today but amazing recommendation. Thanks!

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  9. Thanks for posting this Janet. When I have a chance I will read her entire blog as well. I did send her a message offering prayers and good thoughts. My husband's grandmother had ALS so I understand the difficulties she is going through.

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  10. Janet, I knew you would like this lady. Her humor about the ordinary things in life, and also the honesty she puts out there about her ALS is awesome! She gets information out about ALS in an engaging way. I think she has definitely earned her angels wings! Thanks Janet, Hugs to you, Melanie

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  11. I have had the pleasure and privilege reading Ellie's blog since early November...found though La Contessa's. She is an amazing and hilarious person! Her writing will definitely put one's life into perspective and it should. I've been praying for her....especially since her "tinsel" post.

    Janet, thank you for mentioning Ellie...I hope and pray others will, too!

    Renee in Northern California

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  12. She has a fabulous sense of humour and is a great writer...I love her wit.
    Like you I read all of her blog in one sitting a few months back when La Contessa linked to her blog...
    she is an inspiration and it is very sad reading this latest post.
    It puts a lot in perspective for anyone who feels sorry for their lot in life...

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  13. I love her blog, I just discovered it a few months ago. Did you read her post on visiting Chanel's apartment, well I guess you did...it was so funny and touching and also captured all the beauty and didn't you just feel her excitement and zest for life?
    Thanks for posting on Ellie, I'm so behind on my blog reading I wouldn't have seen it and now I can pray for her. x

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  14. thank you for this. can not believe that I never came across her before. read her "tinsel" post,hilarious and heartbreaking. now I feel ashamed about my renting to a friend yesterday about the lack of service in a shoe store. yes, it really does put things in perspective. thank you for sharing.
    Darby

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  15. Thank you so much ,Janet, for turning me on to this incredibly funny and brave woman. I shall now be spending all my extra time catching up on her past blogs.Love your blog,too!

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  16. Janet, I typically lurk here but I've enjoyed your blog so much. Thank you for telling us about Ellie. It's rare enough to meet people who make one want to be a better person in the flesh, but to meet someone like Ellie (and yourself) online is a real gift.

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  17. Janet, I believe I came across her blog recently but didn't realize Ellie was battling a life threatening illness. Wow. I admire her courage. I happened to read this post and hers the other day after being a little complainypants to my husband about all the annoying things that happened to me that day. Including the brand new defective Christmas lights that I have to return, the crappy cup of coffee I got at Starbucks, how Christmas is overwhelming, etc.

    It certainly does put everything in perspective. :/

    Linda
    xo

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  18. GREAT POST!
    I need to find out MORE about YOU!!!!!!!
    Off I go...........where do you live?

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    1. hi la contessa. i live in southern california!

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    2. But where...........as I spent a lot of time down there too!My relatives own ROGER'S GARDEN.......I would imagine YOU know that spot??!!

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    3. yes i know rogers gardens. :)
      i live in redlands which is about 50 miles and a lifetime away from newport beach. x

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    4. I have never been there but by the look of your driveway it looks very inviting!Next time I pop down from up north maybe we can meet up!I worked at I.MAGNINS in South Coast Plaza years ago!!!Boy this ANONYMOUS commenter has us all standing on edge for OUR ELLIE!!!!Thinking of you at this time.............I cannot find your email on your site am I just blind???!!

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  19. I read very few blogs, yours along with a few others including Ellie's - I've been reading hers for about a year now. I could just cry when I read some of her posts. Her honesty is so captivating and I feel like I know her and through cyberspace I love her. To have such a devastating illness and then make you laugh along with her...What a gift she is to everyone who reads her blog.- she has a one-of-a-kind amazing spirit about her. We are all such spoiled people who take our health for granted every single day. I wish she REALLY knew how she has changed me. ~ Pam Atk

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    1. dear pam. i feel the same exact way. i've been praying non stop for her and i feel so connected to her and i can't say that has ever happened to me through a blog before. she has changed my life...and that's the truth!

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  20. Janet, thanks so very, very much for telling us about Ellie's blog which, I too, can hardly quit reading. As you and others have stated, she certainly does put everything in perspective for us. She has definitely been in my thoughts and prayers. I love your blog also; it is one of my very favorites! Wishing you and yours a wonderful Christmas and a very happy new year! Louise

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  21. I read Ellie's blog (or, about 80% of it) based your recommendation. Unfortunately, my reaction was not the same as yours. I did appreciate and love her writings that were more vulnerable -- about ALS, her daughter, etc. It's a service to write about diseases like this, because there is no better resource for others who suffer with ALS and those who support them. That's where my affection for the author ended. I found her painfully snobby and snooty. I can't imagine hanging out with her if I were from a lower economic class or a "lesser" culture, lest I cause her offense. And perhaps worst of all, I was so put off by the "donations" link and page. The donation website practically begged for money and gave the impression that she couldn't afford her expensive medical treatments. The world is full of people who can't afford ANY medical treatment and who die in a shack in Liberia (or some other poor country) of Ebola or ALS or something else. And the world is full of people who get minimal medical care in countries like America that don't guarantee healthcare for all. Yet this author asks for "donations while she:
    - buys Napoleon's wallpaper at the auction of the century
    - writes about her troves of high-end luxury clothing
    - writes about her antique furniture that could cost more than a car
    - routinely eats at some of the most expensive restaurants in the world
    - lives in a country with mostly free medical care
    - has more comprehensive medical care and attendants than the other few people I know struggling with ALS in the US.

    I was so turned off by this.

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    1. i find her incredibly honest, funny and i would be honored to call her a friend. i can't stop thinking about her and what it must be like to be going through what she is and yet keep her sense of humor. i identify with her humor v much - maybe that's why i'm attracted to her writing.

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    2. Anonymous, I share your reaction to Ellie's blog and applaud your honesty. I too had the same reaction when I saw the "donations" link, read it and saw that she was requesting money for...herself! I had to read it twice as I originally thought surely she was requesting money for someone else. What??!!! Talk about nerve! It would be different if she was donating the monies collected to ALS foundation but to ask for it to fund her personal medical costs while she dines at the Ralph Lauren and bids on Napoleon's wallpaper? Some people live in class but have none. Sorry, she lost me as a reader there.

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    3. ok, i get that you guys don't like her donate page. i do get it but i can see where it may offend you but really? saying she has no class? she is dying and still has the spirit to get dressed, go out, see life, write the blog...i believe it's all for her daughter. that is what is keeping her fighting. i can't even imagine what it must be like to be in her shoes...i have so much compassion for her...

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    4. Janet, I think you may be confusing "class" which is the indication of good manners and etiquette with gumption. Personally I do not think it's very classy to ask for donations in the name of ALS when one is spending money frivolous manner. Doesn't one ask for donations when they simply cannot afford anything? To ask for money when you obviously have enough is in very poor taste.

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    5. i do not have class and gumption confused. i think we are going to have to agree to disagree on this one.

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    6. May I ask kind of a silly question?
      Who gives a shit?
      There is no crime in having money and seeking more. It's her choice to offset the hulking cost of her treatment by suggesting people who enjoy her blog, or feel invested in her story, to donate at will. I don't see a debate to be had. Ina Garten has a lot of money but no one bats an eye at her cookbooks costing north of $50. Ellie may have a lot of money, but that doesn't exclude her from being able to collect more. I know if it were me, I would hate it that my illness was depleting my family's money. I would so much rather it be spent on vacations, fun stuff than my treatment. Ellie is writing at a high level, providing entertainment, humor, and a peek into a world most people only dream about. We all pay for escapism in one way or another. Ellie's just mentioning that if her blog feeds you and speaks to you, consider a donation/payment for her work. She can't physically work at this point, but she can contribute in this way. I just don't see the big deal.

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    7. Janet and Stephen, I went back and re-read the donations page yet again and it does look like it was set up by someone other than Ellie, nonetheless, she does have a direct link to it on her blog. That aside I would like to say that I think she is a very courageous, witty and talented woman. What she is going through is unimaginable to me and I pray for her and her family. Thank you.

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    8. Agree with Stephen 100%. I didn't even see the donations page...just have been transformed by her words (and yours, too, Janet). No need to be venom spewers if you do not like it. Just don't read! And, when you DO spew, be brave enough to use your name.

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    9. I am embarrassed for you that you would write something so unkind -- and incensed knowing that it has caused Eleanor pain. Shame on you. I agree with others who have suggested that since you didn't care for her blog you might have just stopped reading and moved on. Rather, you took the time and energy to criticize her publicly -- but without having the courage to sign your own name. Shameful. And here's a life lesson you obviously missed along the way: you have no right to criticize (or even comment) on how others spend their money unless it is your money they are spending and I'm betting that even with all your self-righteous indignation you didn't contribute a dime. But it's nice to know you are "praying" for her and her family. May I suggest your prayers might be better served if you asked for a bigger, kinder heart?

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    10. Bravo Stephen!! Beautifully stated. I hope my dear Ellie sees your post. She really railed on the anonymous who started this "little" discussion.

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    11. YAY Rex!! love love your comment. Hope Ellie sees the positive on this chain.

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    12. It is very sad to see such negative comments made about a someone who has ALS - how would any of us know what it is like and what is needed to keep going. SO WHAT if she is asking for money. SO WHAT if she is given a gift by her husband. Hasn't Ellie had to forgo enough? Now she is criticised by someone who refuses to put their name to their writings and it gets published.... Ann Aquilina

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    13. So small. If you don't want to help someone with astrological medical costs, simply don't. Have some decorum!!!!!

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    14. Rex, thank you for the perfect comment on this nonsense. Anonymous, choosing not to identify yourself speaks volumes. I have been reading Ellie for some months now (thanks to Heather Robinson at Lost in Arles) and this beautiful woman has changed my life, too. How sad that anyone would choose to comment negatively on this amazing woman without naming themselves. Why not just say nothing at all? Ellie, you are loved by so many who think of you every day and hope and pray for you, too. Signed, Katherine Davies

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    15. I read Ellie's blog, too, and am amazed at what she goes through on a daily basis to just continue to exist. I've never noticed the "donate" button, but if I had, I would have considered that she's merely suggesting she gets paid for what she does. She is working - maybe not at a 9-5 job - but she is working. I contribute to blogs I find worthwhile and I'll probably go back and donate to hers, now that I know there IS a "donate" button. Jill Meyer, Santa Fe

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    16. Anonymous - you really are an ill-mannered creature. Can't imagine why you would even be reading Janet's blog let alone Ellie's.
      Cindy F

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    17. What in the world is the matter with you selfish, pitiful women, (anonymous') who could write such hateful, heartless responses to Ellie's blog. You don't have one ounce of courage. How dare you judge someone who has to deal with such an unimaginable disease. You don't wish for her any pleasure in the last months of her life? You are disgusting and horrific. Who would want to be you friend? I plan to make a donation to Ellie today!!! Wendy

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  22. Hi Janet, Ellie's blog is fun to read, as well as her profuse honesty with everything she is going through. I do enjoy it. However, I feel pretty much the same way Anonymous does. In fact I could not have said it any better. I was not able to see her and feel for her the way you have. But sometimes a a person really speaks to " you", because it's what you need at the moment. I do thank you for sharing.

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  23. Hi Janet! Thank you SO much for the delicious blog review on Ellie. I too have been up at night thinking about and her dreaming about her. What a gift! And to the people about the donation page? WHATEVER. Don't read then and move on. Thanks again Janet! Last night I read to my dinner party her entry about tinsel and had everyone crying laughing at the same time. And her blog post saying happy birthday to Grace? No words can describe how that spoke to me. Xxxxxxx Jen.

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  24. She is who she is. Rich or poor ALS is an awful disease and this is an awful way to die. Her story brought me back to when a friends mom became ill and passed away less then a year later in 1987 from ALS It seems Ellie has also tried things not covered by insurance . I assumed that people contributing are her friends who have are rich as well. Take care,Corinne

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  25. And ps about her donation page. Someone else looks like they set it up for her. And sometimes people have no idea to how to help. And so this gives people a way to help. Also the money she is going through must be at a rapid rate!! So I'm sure this small donation page is a. A way for people to help and b. Maybe a small (very small) way to help preserve some of her money to leave for her daughter, Gracie.

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    1. yes, i thought the same thing jennifer as far as someone else setting it up for her. her medical bills over the last 4 years are probably incomprehensible. my son broke his leg a couple of years ago and the bills were astronomical. i love that she continues on with what makes her happy as best she can. i love that her husband indulges her.

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  26. Janet, thank you for letting us know about Have Some Decorum. I have been reading and reading and read some out loud to my depressed son who then laughed out loud- which is a big damn deal! I have been trying to just forget the ridiculous criticism about the donate page... Dear. God. Uh, since she's dying, I think we can give her a pass, right? My hope is that whatever money heads her way can be spent bringing some JOY to her last days. And if that means she wads it all up and sticks it in the g-string of a male stripper (or has her caregiver do that) that is just a-okay with me. (I bet it would be a classy French stripper)

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    1. you've said exactly what i was thinking. the fact that she has her wits about her during what must be indescribable anxiety and still wanting to experience joy, well i just think that is the best. i'm so glad your son laughed, that's awesome. x

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  27. Hi J

    Read every post in her archives and really enjoyed it.

    I didn't even realise there was a donation page and I don't care- donating is not mandatory.

    Thanks for sharing xxxx

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  28. Good morning everyone. This is Ellie from Have Some Decorum. I have just read all of your comments regarding my blog. Thank you Janet for all of your kind words. Thank you to all of the people who wrote such charming endearing words about me. To those of you who wrote super rude things about me please check my blog today… It's just for you. Love, Ellie

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  29. GO GIRL GO.......................CAN't wait to read it!
    XOXO

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  30. I have been reading Ellie since you posted on it. LOVE it. Sure she may have come from money but I get the impression she would welcome anyone that interest her into her home and life. In a society where we routinely pay for entertainment, from the $1.00 horsey ride at the Walmart entrance to I TUNES, Ebooks, concerts, etc, why does Anonymous have her knickers in such a twist over Ellie's blog having a voluntary donate page for anyone who feels like tossing a coin in her hat for taking the time, and I am sure considerable trouble, to present us with her brilliant life lessons and writing by way of her blog. What Ellie gives us on a daily basis is a gift. I am more troubled than anonymous is such a coward that she cant even put her name to her opinion. Shame on her.

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  31. I, too, love Ellie and her blog. She is an inspiration to all. No doubt. Everybody should donate whatever they can or choose. This is a horible disease. My MIL died of ALS in London, UK. She also had care givers and stayed in her own lovely home. This is one horrible disease with no cure. The individual having difficulty with Ellie's blog should simply "keep out." It is your choice to make and your loss. Do NOT berate the blog as this publically makes you look unkind, judgemental, sad, desperate, ignorant...
    Susan

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  32. What is wrong with trying to get monetary help from others? Here in Sweden we do that too, mostly through Facebook. But that occurs only when the Swedish medical authorities cannot provide you assistance in very complicated illness issues. Often for medical help abroad. We have a good health insurance paid by our tax systems, so we don't have to pay for surgery and personal assistance at home and so on. For medicines we pay only 256 US dollars per year. the person who wrote such nasty things doesn't understand what it is like to be in Eleanor's situation.
    Best wishes from Marianne in Stockholm, Sweden

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  33. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the link to Have Some Decorum. After reading her response to Anonymous (enough about HER), I went on to read the rest of her blog. I spent 6 hours the first day, then another 3 hours after that going through all her postings. She's amazing! I can just hear her, by the way she writes and she's a riot! Such fun, wit and laugh-out-loud laughter - what's not to love? While I don't have the same taste as Ellie (gilt and chinoiserie just would not work in our 200+ yr old farmhouse), I've learned so much about décor...and yes, even some decorum! Well done, Ellie! And again, thank you Janet. Mills in PA

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  34. I love hanging on Ellie's blog, her strength fills me full within my soul, she has been a blessing for me....I am simply
    crazy about Ellie ~

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  35. Assume everyone has read Ellie's response to Anonymous' judgmental comments. The title alone is the best "Dear Fat F*@K". I blogged about this exchange as hateful internet comments under the guise of anonymity are the worst. And then to add the "I'll pray for you" just makes me gag. Agree with Rex' probably best to pray that you become a caring, kind human might be a better place to start. As you can imagine, I love Ellie's blog and am humbled as I see how brave she is, and how damn funny!

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    1. thanks deb, yes i think everyone has read it. i'm just happy that the vast majority of the people love ellie. there will always be those that seem to gravitate to the negative. it's a lesson for me really, b/c i have been know to do that too. ellie continues to inspire me daily. x

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kindness is never out of style.