resolutions


my rose garden.  like me it needs a lot of work.





You either love them or hate them.  I love them and also love this time of year.  There is something about the idea of a fresh start that is so appealing to me.  My resolutions this year seem to revolve mostly around money but hopefully that will ultimately bring me more simplicity and peace.


1.  Mix up my thinking and pay down my mortgage.  What I mean by this is to stop doing things purely out of habit and try and look at different ways I can save time and money.  In order to do this I'll have to...

2.  Stop shopping for things I don't need.  This is something I hope I can share with you about here because oftentimes I go to estate sales out of curiosity and wind up buying things I don't need because the price is so good. This will have to stop if I want to accomplish #1. Being completely honest with you, this is going to be hard for me. I really really enjoy estate sales. They are like walking through museums that you can buy things from.  So I will only allow myself to go to the very best ones and demonstrate great restraint.

3.  Continue to pare down, donate and keep things light around here.  I've worked hard at purging and simplifying and I want to maintain this.

4.  Grow a real vegetable garden.  I haven't had a lot of luck growing vegetables and we are surrounded by organic farms that sell to local markets and 2 farmers markets each week. So even though local veggies are cheap and plentiful, I want to give this a go and see if I can't live up to the name of my blog. We'll see.

5.  Continue on my vegan path.  Veganizing my wardrobe didn't work out for me this year.  I failed miserably at it.  I held onto my old vintage shoes, boots and bags and at this point I'm glad I did.  I really don't want to be spending money this year on poorly made substitutes that don't last.  I really thought I was onto something but for me, it didn't work.  So I suppose I'll just stick with what I've got.

6.  Stop fighting the Universe.  This is also a big one for me.  I really want to learn to go with the flow more.  I'm able to do it in certain areas of my life but there are a couple of relationships I have that I want to quit fighting and learn to accept fully.  In my head I know I cannot change people but I often find myself doing sneaky manipulative things to get things to go my way.    This will be really hard too.

Gosh I almost want to give up right now.  Just kidding, I like my list and I really do want to accomplish everything on it.  So what are you guys hoping to change this year?  Or do you not like resolutions?
Please do share.

Bye








59 comments

  1. Janet,
    Wow, you are so honest about a few of these resolutions. I love that about you. You are so real. Wish you were my neighbor and we could have tea from time to time. Good luck in 2014! Your thoughts are very achievable and I hope you flourish!

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  2. Number 7 for me, Janet. I read a quote yesterday that went something like this: "In the end, only 3 things matter: How much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you." - Buddha

    So I am going to try and 'gracefully' let go. Oh, it's a big one, I know!

    Love,

    Sue
    xo

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  3. Oh - LOVE resolutions, and find that if I set a resolution, or a goal, in the new year, I am more likely to achieve it than if I do it at any other time. Last year I started my "money diet" and saw great success - hoping to continue on that same path this year. Also want to trim some of the fat - at home, and on me - this year! Great luck with your resolutions Janet! Happy New Year!
    xoxo,
    A

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  4. An honest and worthy set of resolutions. Mine revolves around one word: emerge. This is the year I need to come out of my cocoon a bit and publish and market more, to polish my hard-earned writerly skill sets and get them out there where they can do some good. And, of course, to continue to keep shopping and clutter at a minimum.

    I've given up on growing vegetables. My garden is my place of repose; its nutritive value is fresh air, color, and serenity.

    Happy 2014 to you and yours.

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  5. I have also resolved to stop shopping at thrift stores and "rescuing" things that are fabulous, but not needed! Also, simplifying and paring down possessions, eating as cleanly as possible, and working on being kind. I enjoy your blog and your perspective. Happy New Year!

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  6. Love this Janet! I am thinking of the same thing! cleansing all things in my life! I need to continue to stop controlling the universe - it doesn't seem to need me. I also have to trust that it is all going to work out, though I am never sure how it will! I love your resolutions! I am the queen of getting things I don't need, but am working on this for 2014! I can't wait to follow along on your journey!

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  7. I rarely make resolutions for New Years....after reading your list I might try to put pen to paper and see what happens.
    If you love estate sales and spy bargains why not buy the gems and sell some at a profit? Then you still get the thrill and can offset what you choose to keep for yourself by selling off the others?
    We grow a few veggies but many are lost to the slugs and bugs because we refuse to use any pesticides! My husband likes to think we are feeding the insects and off course the deer love the greens...we are their salad bar.
    I always am delighted when I see that you have a new post. I look forward to following you on your journey in the new year.

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  8. No2 - I want to but a 'fancy' dress just now, ( it's actually quite cheap) but I don't have a fancy life - it's a fantasy purchase for me.

    No.7 - in the most trying times of my life this has been my mantra, don't cling, let go, flow, however much pain it may bring, there really is no other way through than to feel.

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  9. I LOVE resolutions - I don't get too uptight if I don't keep them perfectly but for me, resolutions provide a focus for the year, a bit of a roadmap. I work for a major stock exchange so mine tend to be very financial: have "x" number of dollars saved by end of year, have "x" number of dollars coming monthly from dividends. These are very real numbers, always achievable but if the world turns the wrong way I can live with that. I also need to lose 5 lbs - I know it does not seem like a lot, but I am 5 feet tall - 5 lbs is like 15 lbs for a taller gal. And keep up my running at least four times a week. I love to run, such a de-stressor from everyday angst! That is it - those three. They seem so simple, quantifiable, yet involve discipline. Happy 2014 Janet and many blessings.

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  10. I love New Years resolutions. Mine are to continue simplifying, eat well everyday and be kind to everyone.
    Happy New Year!!
    Betty

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  12. You don't have to grow food to be a Gardener's Cottage. Grow year round pollinator habitat for maximum diversity of pollinators. This can increase crop yield 80% or more. Affecting those growing crops near you commercially. Grow hydrangeas & sell blooms to a florist. A friend did this for years.

    You are a 'picker'. Team up with a successful interior decorator, garden designer to sell B2B. How do I know this? Sadly, I'm a good 'picker' too. Slowed it way down this year & miss it terribly. Will be selling B2B in 2014.

    Don't forget how valuable a pretty garden is to communities, property value & spirit, without even considering it as pollinator habitat. No, food crops (agriculture) are not the only path to having a Gardener's Cottage. Indeed, you are well named.

    A woman left me a note on my door over 2 decades ago. She LOVED my garden. We have been best friends for years, and cannot imagine my life without her. All because of my garden !

    Garden & Be Well, XO Tara

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  13. Good luck Janet. I think you will succeed in some of these and in other ways you have not yet planned, as you live a conscious life and seem to be paying attention to the greater good (your sanity). New ideas will come. My list for this year is similar, apart from organizing a wedding which requires the acquiring of "things". ;)

    You are an inspiration, as always, to live a better, more conscious life. The older I get, the more i feel like I see things as they really are, and the more I see that my ego is the biggest problem. To try to "wake up" in all sorts of ways is my biggest challenge - to improve relationships, relate better to the material world, manage and witness my wants and desires and see fear for what it really is - more ego!

    Ugh. All that while trying to look cute and be well-read and earn a living. hehe. xo Terri

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  14. Happy Birthday, Janet. You are one inspiring woman!
    xxLinda from B.C.

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  15. It's really just a matter of 'balance' ! Blessings on your New Years endeavors...You can do it!

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  16. I don't like to make resolutions at New Years because I usually fail miserably. But I do review my goals for the coming year which is essentially the same thing. Eat better, save money, take care of my health, etc. I am a control freak and I need to work on that.

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  17. Hi Janet, while in past years I would find myself quite introspective and reflective at the new year, resolutions were never my thing as it seemed all year long I was contemplating ways to be my very best self. And as far as "going against the universe", that is actually impossible!! If only we could all just accept ourselves exactly as we are .. perfectly imperfect. Why does that seem so difficult? Besides, when we have perspective of the big picture, we begin to realize time does not exist, the "time/space reality" in which we appear is an illusion, and this apparent Life is nothing but a series of fleeting perceptions. As they say, Live in the Now Moment and trust that each moment is playing out exactly as intended.. That said, Happy 2014 to you and yours!

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    Replies
    1. It's probably difficult because while you're trying to accept yourself others are sending strong messages you shouldn't. Or maybe that's just a lot of people I know hahaha.
      Kathy

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  18. This year mine are not resolutions, but better defined priorities for my family.

    1. Shared family experiences over material goods.
    2. Healthy bodies for me, my husband and my sons.
    3. Creating a welcoming home.
    4. Being generous with others.
    5. Providing solid educations for all of us.

    Of course this branches out into food, reading, running, decorating, purging, finances and a multitude of other areas. But all of those things can be judged against these priorities and determined to be in line with our priorities or something we need to jettison.

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    1. What a perfect way to word it. We're human. We can say, "I resolve to..." and then we don't do it because it's hard or we get distracted, thrown off course. I like the idea of planning better. I like the idea of defined priorities. Defined priorities. Yeah, I definitely like those two words.

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  19. I would like to say I'll stop trying to control the world but if you're gonna give it up too, I won't know who's in charge anymore.

    I'd like to live in emotional honesty, speak the truth and be clear about my needs, and clean out that hall closet and the mystery box under the attic stairs.

    Well, I've got a year!

    xo J

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  20. Happy New Year Janet! My #1 res will be to also stop trying to "control the universe"; this will be extremely difficult for me as well. I've already ended the year by #2 putting myself on a really strict budget so that I can pay down credit card debt that crept up on us so the tight budget will help with #3 - paring down and simplifying to an almost minimalist life. The most important one for me though will be going wheat free which I did for 2 months felt great but trying to control everything sent me back to "junk" for comfort which made me feel yucky mentally and physically so I'll start again!lol You didn't fail either on your wardrobe choices because keeping good quality items that have already been made is far less wasteful or hurtful than tossing them for some other environmentally unfriendly item. I wish you success with your goals in the new year! Sincerely, Jeannette

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  21. Janet--I love your lifestyle and want to get started on paring things down myself. I have a handle on how to get rid of "stuff", but am stuck a bit on the closet. I love your wardrobe guidelines, but find them a bit intimidating. I am a 40 year old professional counselor, so I am worried that the pickings might be too slim for my professional wardrobe. Any suggestions on how to have a pared down professional wardrobe or a site I could look at to get started?

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  22. Hi Janet, I love the idea of resolutions, but in reality I'm not good at keeping them. However, this year we have a goal of saving for a big trip later in the year or early next year. Since my husband is a part of that, I think we'll do well since he is much more disciplined than me.

    Would love to follow along on your journey as well - Happy New Year!

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  23. Interesting resolutions. It's good to be honest about what works and what doesn't. I'm not a firm believer in absolutes. I think that they can cause more anxiety and grief than they are worth.

    I usually just make up something stupid like planning to sleep more, eat better cheese, drink better wine, etc. Next year I'll be a mother and I don't know what will happen so no sense deciding on things now anyway. Priorities will change in a flash and I'm sure the "sleep more" won't be happening.

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    1. The best advice I was given when I became a new mother was, "Nap whenever you get a chance." When the baby slept, so did I, at least for the first few weeks.

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  24. This was a tough year. So I am keeping it real for 2014:
    1. Gratitude
    2. Simplicity
    3. Nurturing my friendships
    4. Accepting what can't be changed.

    If you knew me, you would know that these will not be easy for me. But each resolution is a result of a lesson learned in 2012.
    Oh- and to remember to go easy on the wine. Although I love a good wine, it doesn't always love me. Happy New Year!

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  25. I do tend to feel that I am setting myself up for a fail...too many things in one go! But, generally, to get my health better is the main journey. Everything else will fall into place with a gentle nudge!
    Had a new seed catalogue arrive today, so, yes, garden plans will feature strongly in 2014.
    It's good to grow...in all senses of that phrase!
    Here's to 2014! Have a good one!
    Z xx

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  26. I think you have missed something..consider this! What if, you went to the estate sales and bought a few great bits, came home, SOLD them for a profit.. and added the money to the mortgage dwindle project??? MANY high end designers, would LOVE to have someone gathering this kind of thing for them....Could perhaps you "Have it all?" Best wishes, JJ

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  27. Hi Janet! I found your blog when you were on a shopping ban. I remember the latern\lampshade you got for the entrance. I don't know how you feel about the upcoming shopping ban - I am looking forward to the lessons you will reveal here.
    Have a happy New year. Less is more! :-)

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  28. I make my Resolutions on my birthday, in August. That way, come January, no guilt. : )

    Having said that, things I am striving for:
    1. Push myself to a healthier lifestyle all around with exercise, food, meditation, and surroundings.
    2. Finish the house- there are just some major painting projects that I just need to complete but picking paint mortifies me.
    3. Pursue a new career- this one is HUGE. After 23 year doing what I am doing now, I am moving to something that is from out behind the desk. I am excited and terrified at the same time, as I will be 40 in 2014.
    4. Give more to animals. I decluttered my commitment calendar and picked just one.

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  29. Hi J, I think you are very disciplined and will achieve what you want next year. Makes me sad you have to give up the yard sales- can't you purchase and re-sell? Seems sad to give up something that brings much pleasure. I never make resolutions formally. But I'll be saving more, reading more, spending mindfully and trying to be an example for my kid. Love how committed you are to your causes. 4 years since we connected!!! xxxx

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    1. i know it does sound sad but i'm not giving them up completely. :)
      also, i really want to keep my eye on the prize of paying off my house which would more than make up for any estate sales i missed. it will take discipline but i know it will be worth it.

      i know 4 yrs!!!

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  30. I've been thinking a lot about how I want the new year to be for me, more so than any other year I can remember. I thought maybe because I felt unsatisfied with things in my life, but the other night when I attempted to write my own blog post about this, I realized there has been a drastic change in the priorities in my life. I try not to make specific resolutions because I usually don't follow through. I like to think about who and what I want to be, how I want to live, how I want to be remembered.....and then try to live by those thoughts. This year I want to be kinder, I want to be seen more and heard less, I want to follow passions and learn more, I want to live more simply and healthier.

    I really like your list and will probably follow your lead on all of them. :) I especially need to work on #7. Yes, we cannot change people, but we can learn how to have them in our lives in a healthy way.

    I wish you the very best this year. You've been a wonderful part of my life in so many ways...I hope good happy things come your way. ♥

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  31. I find resolutions so hard to stick with. I have not figured out how to turn my "should do's" into "am doing"! Perhaps with gentle readjustments I can steer closer to my goals this year. I'm enjoying following your progress. Your honesty is refreshing and encouraging. xo Jennifer

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  32. I love making resolutions, though I rarely end up keeping them. Like you I love the thought of a fresh start. I've always liked to purge unused stuff, but your blog has really inspired me to pare down this past year. My big resolutions for 2014 have to be around health. I had back sugary in late 2012 and it didn't go so well so I can't walk normal and I know I've also lost a lot of flexibility. My goal for this year is to really work on that and lose weight. Oh, and stop drinking frappuchinos!

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  33. I too set goals on my birthday-but NYE is a good time to check in on those; we made our move to San Diego, and we couldn't be happier, even if we have a zillion boxes to yet unpack...

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  34. Happy Birthday Baby!!! I never got a text from you so I thought I would connect thru here. I love you and hope you had an amazing day.

    Margot

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  35. Good to find personal honesty, it can be a rare commodity. I have broken every resolution I have ever made, so have stopped making them, well, writing them down anyway. It is a good time of year for self reflection and starting afresh, and there is time to stare into the fire and think.

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  36. Janet our resolutions are very similar as I am so determined to pay my mortgage off by 2015. I felt like I didn't make much progress on it this year but yesterday I looked at the numbers and it was astounding... we didn't travel as much in 2013 and anything extra I slapped down on the principal, if I am more mindful of spending in 2014 think of the progress I could make. So I'll be watching my spendy ways and thinking of new areas to save... I also want to continue my volunteer work with social justice and environmental awareness, that has been really rewarding though a bit tough at times, just the challenge I've needed and a new perspective as well. It helps me with my silly side.
    I'm also determined to donate absolutely everything I don't need or use in my home, someone else should have it!!
    Happy New Year to you, Larry and the whole family!

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  37. Janet, resolutions are great because they give you a roadmap and goals to accomplish. BUT, be kind to yourself. You don't have to accomplish everything on your roadmap; deviating from it might even lead you to a better destination. Roadmaps are to help you, not to stress you. Speaking of stress, growing a vegetable garden (especially an organic one) can be more stressful than it's worth. As you can see from my blog, I only grow flowers (we tried growing vegetables for 2 seasons and realized it wasn't for us). Flowers are much easier and very rewarding. They also help me relax and be surrounded by nature. With these beautiful flowers, I also feel I am contributing to the world by providing food and shelter to our pollinators. One of my goals this year is to help the monarch butterfly population. Their habitat is shrinking at an alarming rate. I am giving myself 2-3 years before my first visitor arrives (this way I won't give up too soon). Your goals are realistic. Be kind to yourself as you set out to accomplish them. With your creativity and positive attitude, I am sure you will find fun ways to accomplish your goals. BIG HUG. Christa

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    1. I have to agree about the vegetable garden. My husband likes to grow the veggies. It's a lot of work. It's always too much and even the neighbors get sick of the zuchini. I spend a lot of time washing, trimming, dicing, freezing...and then the stuff sits in the freezer and doesn't get used during the year. If you do it, keep it small; that's my advice. I am very happy with one tomato plant. I do love to go out and pick a warm tomato if I can get to it before the birds do. I have supported local farms and received the weekly boxes of seasonal veggies but my dream would be to be near a farmers' market; as it is, I have to travel too far to one which is contrary to being mindful of the carbon footprint. If I had a farmers' market. I'd just pick out what I knew I'd actually eat and a reasonable quantity. Give me a farmers' market and a tomato plant in the backyard, and I'd be a happy girl.

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  38. I plan to use my good stuff more often. Eat in the dining room off of the china and use the silver, even when it's just the two of us. Watch less TV. I get plenty of cardio but I'm going to try to find time for Yoga or strength training too. Drink less Coke Zero. Try to waste less food. I always feel guilty when I throw away food.

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  39. My resolution I am not going to call a resolution because if I do I know I will fail! I've only succeeded in one resolution and that was when I was a teenager - I am 48 now, enough said… For 2014, I am going to do my best at saving money and quit being so wasteful. After all, I am going to have to start saving for retirement eventually. Yikes!!!

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  40. I sold my house and just paid off every single credit card. For a brief moment in time, I have no mortgage debt, no rental expense, no credit cards, no car payments...but I do have now a modest savings account. If you knew me, you would know this has not been my life for about 30 years. My biggest priority for 2014 is to repurpose and reuse almost everything I have but pare down what is excess...and try not to buy much of anything. I will go back to mortgage debt in February but it's more reasonable debt than what I'd had...and we've got a lot of remodeling to do; however, the big diff is that we will save for each project and not start it til we have the money collected for it. I will never borrow against my home ever again to fix it up...I will not bleed that equity. We were under-water for years with the Recession/Depression and, at one time, I figured I'd die an old lady with credit card debt and a huge house payment. We lived in fear of home maintenance problems with a 90-year-old property and inadequate cash reserves to pay for them. Last year, it was a $3000 plumbing repair, just about the same time that the dog was sick and vet bills were mounting. I mourn and miss my house I just sold; I loved it; it was a beloved home in my family for 70 years before it was mine, and I have felt like a big-fat-failure for having to give it up but practicality and good sense have to take over as we age and face retirement.

    I have shopped because I was empty or bored; needing to shore myself up with something gratifying or pleasing. Instant reward. Spontaneous, temporary uplift. My mother would always recall a saying, "Feeling low? Go out and buy a new hat." Well, I have thousands of hats and one head. I don't do Goodwill or estate sales, but I do home decor shops and antique stores. I can NEVER go in without buying something. I am not a window shopper; I am a shopper with my hand on the wallet, ready to go. I don't save for a rainy day; I buy for a rainy day. So, I have to find ways to get out and do something without a pocketbook attached to my arm. But that's my mantra for 2014...DON'T BUY ANYTHING. I don't know if I can do it. I love to buy stuff. I love to accumulate. But my accumulations are burying me.

    So, stop the spending. Manage money wisely. Create a new home out of my sea of packing boxes. Organize myself. And that includes cooking-in and eating as healthy as I can, watching portions, watching ingredients. And my husband and I have decided we are bickering too much and need to ditch The Bickersons. We HAVE had a hard 2013, with family caregiving/parent death; probate complications; my cancer; emptying two houses and endless moving/relocating. I just want to feel quiet, settled, rested, fed mindfully and energized physically with a lot of walking (and a new thing for me, working out with weights...I'm looking forward, Janet, to your exercise regimen you said you'll be detailing later on in the blog). If I can get that far, maybe I can then look toward a little less 'me' and reach out more to others and my community. Unfortunately, I'm not a good multi-tasker. I admire people who can juggle career, volunteerism, family, church, etc. But I just can't. It's a real deficit.

    And then there's the rest, such as..."Is 2014 finally going to be the year for laser hair removal?" (Sorry; felt I had to lighten the tone here...)

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    1. you really have had a lot on your shoulders this year. i wish you good health and happiness this year vicki. :)

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    2. Vicki, you are amazingly strong! You have gone through a lot yet you are still able to figure out how to reorganize your life. Do you have a blog? A blog can be a good way to help you keep your focus. I have only been part of this community for just over one year. It's a great and caring community. We can be with you on your journey to reach your goals. Christa

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    3. i agree christa. my blog helps me through the hardest parts of my life.

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    4. You're both so nice. Thanks. I, too, was late to discover the blog world. Online journaling...I didn't really know what that meant. Sure glad I found out. Your blogs aren't just helping yourselves, they're helping the rest of us, too!

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  41. You are a survivor, not a "big fat failure." Look at all you have accomplished. I am greatly inspired by you. You have gone through A LOT and you are still pressing on. I am confident you will accomplish your financial goals, I hear it in your voice (so to speak!). Just the fact that you overcame cancer, you are a very fortunate human being, I lost a dear friend this year to it and she was only in her early 50's - she left a 12 yr. old daughter…it is heartbreaking.

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    1. Sorry, I didn't reference my comment (above) that I was replying to Vicki @3:11 PM.

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    2. Thank you, Janet and Anon for your kind comments and encouragement. I never had thought I could turn my life around; so many mistakes and wrong turns. It's taken a lot of thinking, praying, crying, planning. The blog world...certain blogs like this one, Janet, where readers and you share helpful tips and stories...has had a huge influence on me; given me guidance on how smart people are living and getting along. And somehow, finally, how I grew up...with frugal parents who still gave us a full life...came around full circle and hit 'home' with me. Living with a few boundaries feels 'right' now. Balance. Forethought. All good!

      Anon, I am so sorry for your loss. I do have a lot to be grateful for; I had a Stage I cancer and my prognosis is positive. Major surgery took the wind out of my sails and I'm still trying to rebuild strength but at least I have the chance. Cancer was never part of my vocabulary; it's not in my family. So, it was a real shock...but I find I actually don't dwell on it as much as I'd thought I would; I'm more interested in moving forward.

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  42. I have a huge resolutions list.
    But at the top of it is to Be Quiet, and listen to my Heart.
    To Be Grateful.
    and to just be Happy.

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    1. I think that's just about perfect right there!

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  43. I think your resolutions, and your posts about them, will help me. Just your voice talking helps me.

    Thanks, and a very happy new year,

    Lisa

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  44. When I started my change to a vegan wardrobe I realized when it comes to shoes, I need more. Man made material shoes wear out too fast so having at least 7 comfortable pairs (for 7 days of the week lol) PLUS...1 pair of nice boots, 1 pair of clogs, 3 pair of canvas sneakers (converse and jack purcells) and 3 pair of wedge flip flops, 2 pair of flat flip flops...and all these shoes are black…is helping me to not wear any pair out too soon.

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kindness is never out of style.

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