melinda



The last two coherent words she spoke were..."I'm unstoppable."  This from a group email her daughter sent out on Wednesday morning a few hours after Melinda left us. Never in my life have I met anyone quite like Melinda.  Her energy and positive spirit kept stage IV ovarian cancer at bay for almost 6 years.  She defied doctors, nurses and modern medicine. She was a living lesson on how to live fully present and in the now. I know she reached out to a few readers of this blog who had cancer or who had friends that did.  That was her way, always caring, a friend to everyone and always with her big smile. I've never lost a close friend before and the feeling of emptiness is immense and unexplainable.  I don't know how to act or what to say all I know is that I miss her so much.  x

89 comments

  1. Dear Janet,
    Sending deepest sympathy and love.

    -t

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you a big hug from San Diego!

    Andrea

    ReplyDelete
  3. Janet - I am so sorry for your loss. Melinda sounds like an incredible person and I pray that her spirit continues to live in and through you and all who loved her.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Janet,
    I'm so very sorry for your loss. I've not lost a close friend yet. I can't imagine how awful that must be.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Someone once explained to me that losing a close friend is like losing a part of yourself, because they knew you in a way no one else did. I lost my best friend to cancer and the sadness is still so profound. I am so sorry you have to endure this too. God bless from Ottawa, Ontario.

    ReplyDelete
  6. So sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace and comfort. x

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh no. You must be heartbroken.
    Dear Janet, I'm so sorry for your loss.

    Tanja
    xx


    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi Janet, I am so sorry. I went through and have been going through friends battling cancer. A couple have passed away. It is almost unbearable.

    Today, I have a pre-op appointment with my obgyn. He will be removing pre-cancerous cervical lesions and I am scared. It's the mystery of what could be found once the procedure begins, also, I have never been put under general anesthesia. My sister had the same thing done twice. The first time for pre-cancer cells like me, and the second time was for cancer. Wish me luck, and everyone please keep up with your regular checkups :)

    Warmly, D

    ReplyDelete
  9. What a beautiful smile she had. Melinda was an inspirational lady.
    Sending you much love. xxx

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sending you my deepest sympathy. You will miss her and I know that you will keep her memory close to your heart.
    take care,
    XO

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh Janet, I am so sorry. Deepest condolences and hugs from the SF Bay Area.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I feel for you.Last Tuesday i lost my best friend from myasthenia gravis.She has beeb so brave,so optimist after having battled the disease for 20 years.I cannot believe i have lost her.She has been an inspiration for many people!Have courage Janet....

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thinking of you and sending you my best wishes. You held her hand in the trenches and I can't think of a more wonderful gift for one friend to give another.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sorry for your loss. Each time we lose someone our sorrow is individual to that special someone...there aren't any words to express what we feel for these losses....it's just an ache that we learn to live with....an emptiness that never gets filled....yet we endure and find comfort and happiness again without ever forgetting the special person we lost...and if we're lucky we remember to cherish the others we still have!

    Laura

    ReplyDelete
  15. There is no truer measure of friendship than being there in the tough times. I wish you ( and all those who feel this loss) peace.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Janet I'm so, so sorry. Sending love your way my friend. XO

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm so sorry for your loss, Janet. I lost a childhood friend, my best bud from the age of 3, to HIV in the early 1990s and it was crushing. I felt lost. Friends are family.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Janet, I'm so sorry for your loss.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I am one of the friends Melinda reached out to with cancer. We had wonderful conversations and her upbeat attitude was infectious. We never even met but talked by phone a lot. She was wonderful to me!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost close friends and part of you never really gets over it. It reminds us of what your friend lived by : be present and treasure every moment. Hugs to you, dear.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I am so sorry for your loss, she had a beautiful smile and her light shines through her photo. She will always live in your heart and memories
    Sending you a hug
    Lourdes

    ReplyDelete
  22. I am so very sorry for the loss of your best friend. xxx Leah

    ReplyDelete
  23. oh darling girl. my AJJ.
    I remembered your post about her as soon as I saw the name.
    Melinda.
    and now. yes. she is right. she is truly unstoppable.
    she is free.
    and no doubt beginning the big adventure.
    but she left the hole you must endure.
    tears glistening here. for you. for her loss. xoxo♥

    ReplyDelete
  24. What a beautiful smile, a beautiful aura your dear friend had. You will miss her terribly and always remember how much a part of her is in you.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Dear Janet
    Thinking of you at this sad time. Melinda must have been a wonderful person and a good friend. Your post is a lovely tribute to her and your friendship. Pammie xxx

    ReplyDelete
  26. She will always be with you.....

    ReplyDelete
  27. I am sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I'm so sorry for your loss. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  29. So very sorry for your loss, Janet--she must have been truly remarkable and will be greatly missed.
    Steve Job's sister, in his eulogy, concluded with his last words: "Oh WOW".
    Having walked my Dad home through terminal cancer, and honored to be with him at his passing, those words opened my eyes once more to what we will know when we are reunited with those we love.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Oh Janet, I am so sad to hear you have lost your dear friend. I loved the photo of the two of you that you posted on instagram not too long ago. Obviously two very good friends.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I read very little blogs but yours is one of my favorites. I'm so sorry for the loss of your amazing friend. I lost one of my closest friends a year and a half ago to a heart attack while I was with her that day. She was such a nature lover and I believe she sends me little signs that she is still around with her spirit. I have a little garden area with a plant she had given my husband. I use that area as a little dedication to her. Bird feeder and hummingbird feeder close by. Nature has really helped me with her loss.
    Be gentle with yourself while grieving.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Janet, so very very sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the sadness of losing a friend. Always liked the saying "friends are the family we choose for ourselves." She will always be with you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  33. So sorry for your loss of a close and wonderful friend. My April issue of Country Living arrived today and your cottage looks fabulous. Connie

    ReplyDelete
  34. Janet I am so sad to read this I know how close you were.

    My friend's son died at Christmas and her grief is still raw and she is angry. I have no advice except just to go with what you feeling.

    The saddest thing is how much you crave their physical presence, which is the very thing that is gone.

    Hold tight. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a succinct, spot-on way to put it. All true. I very much know that anger. I've been fueled by it when I otherwise couldn't have moved a finger. It's one of the stages of grief (although there are some who dispute the idea of "stages" in a grief cycle). Everyone goes through grief at their own pace, trying to put one foot in front of the other...and although grateful for memories, you want the person back, right here, right now. It's just, so hard...

      I read this recently, that you have to give grief its time. You have to give TIME...well, TIME. The gift of time is that it helps heal your shattered heart.

      Thinking of you ever since I read your post earlier today, Janet. I've lost classmates by now, at my age; my own family members, including my sibling, my parents...but never a best gal-pal. I can't imagine what you're going through; take gentle care of yourself more than ever; try to get your sleep. We're human; it's emotion...and very fatiguing.

      Delete
  35. Deepest sympathy to you Janet. I lost my husband almost 8 years ago. I realized that the empty space I feel in my heart is the piece he took with him. Somehow it hurts less to think of it that way. At times grief is almost too much to bear when we lose those we love.

    ReplyDelete
  36. My sympathy at the loss of your beautiful friend. I remembered you writing about her before and know you were close. So brave.

    This comes just as one of my own close friends was suddenly diagnosed with breast cancer last month and has already had her op, waiting to see how it goes on. Such a shock; she is the first of my few close friends to be ill this way. I have no idea how to act, either. But the fear, anger and frustration are so palpable.

    I hope this community offers you some solace and comfort, as well as distraction (like having your lovely home featured in CL this week!). Hugs from across the world.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Janet - please accept my sincerest condolences. You shared a remarkable relationship and I know there's a hole in your heart that will not be filled. You're in my thoughts this weekend and moving forward. Take care.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I'm so very sorry Janet. She sounds like such a beautiful person. You can
    still cherish her in your heart. I lost my best friend to cancer when she was
    43 which was many years ago and I still think of her often.

    Kindest and warmest regards
    Caroline

    ReplyDelete
  39. They say that one's spirit lives on until the last person they touched is gone. How lucky she was to have a friend who shared her light with so many who never had the opportunity to know her in person, on a blog called The Gardener's Cottage -- and all of the life lessons that a garden teaches us about life, death, and the seasons of it all. xo

    ReplyDelete
  40. I'm sorry. There's nothing like the crushing feeling of grieving. I hope the road to healing comes swiftly and your memories go back to the happy times and the memory of such raw sadness isn't so painful. Peace be with you.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Thinking of you. You were lucky to have such a great friend. XO

    ReplyDelete
  42. Thinking of you and all who knew your beautiful friend xo

    ReplyDelete
  43. Love and prayers to you and Melinda's family.
    Mary

    ReplyDelete
  44. Janet,

    My heart goes out to you and Melinda's family. I am so sorry for your loss.

    Sincerely,
    Debra from SENC

    ReplyDelete
  45. Janet your beautiful tribute to her on this post is enough! I am so sorry for your loss.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Janet, I am so sorry for your loss. Keeping you in my thoughts.Mary Ann

    ReplyDelete
  47. All the love and sympathies, to you, and to her family.

    ReplyDelete
  48. I lost my husband & best friend almost 4 years ago...very suddenly from a massive stroke. At this point I can tell you that the ache doesn't go away, but becomes more dull...not so piercing. However, at unexpected moments you will feel that stabbing pain as it hits you all over again what you have lost. Allow yourself to do some real, heart-wrenching sobbing once in a while. I just think we too often try to hold it together.

    Do enjoy your memories of her & laugh all over again at some of the funny moments you have shared. She is never truly gone as long as she lives in the memories of family & friends. What a beautiful legacy she has left behind & how fortunate you have been to have had her as a friend. Such a blessing!

    Anita ~ the cabin on the creek

    ReplyDelete
  49. Great article, Thanks for your great information, the content is quiet interesting. I will be waiting for your next post.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Melinda sounds like a firecracker! Thank you and her for reminding all of us that we only get once chance to live our happiest life! I am so sorry for this sad loss but grateful for her message.💫

    ReplyDelete
  51. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you will take comfort with lovely memories of Melinda and gratitude that you were blessed to be a part of her life.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Your sadness is deeply felt, and prayers of comfort is sent out for you and her family.
    Melinda, is now residing in his tent in the shelter of his wings.
    What a beautiful soul your friend is, indeed she is "unstoppable" look at her beautiful new life and where she sits.

    Prayers of comfort sweet Janet.

    Xox
    Dore

    ReplyDelete
  53. Oh Janet I am so very sorry you have lost your friend. My condolences to you and to her family and friends. Suzie xxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  54. Dear Janet, I'm very sorry about your friend's death. I'm will light candles for her, and for you, tomorrow at the Basilica of St. Denis in Paris where I am visiting.
    Elizabeth

    ReplyDelete
  55. I LOST a dear dear friend about 7 years ago. She was 49 and a PRIMA BALLERINA.She impacted my LIFE greatly......I met her in an antique shop I worked at and prayed she would return.She did which allowed us to begin a friendship as we lived in the same town.She left TWO Girls behind.She enters my mind every day in some way................YOU HOLD ON TO YOUR FRIEND.SEE her in a rose or at a garage sale with you.Think to yourself what would MELINDA BUY!Keep her close.........
    SO SORRY for your loss.............I know it;s not not like anything we have experienced before..........XX

    ReplyDelete
  56. A beautiful picture of your friend Melinda and hugs to her family and you,Janet. Take care, Kathleen in Az

    ReplyDelete
  57. My deepest sympathies to you Janet, on the loss of your dear friend. XO Robin

    ReplyDelete
  58. So sorry for your loss Janet. Melinda seems to have been a remarkable lady.

    /Bea

    ReplyDelete
  59. I am so sorry for your loss. I received my new issue of Country Living today, your home is lovely.

    ReplyDelete
  60. dear Janet....Sending you love and light. I am so deeply sorry for this great loss. You are in my thoughts..... xxoj.

    ReplyDelete
  61. “The soul takes flight to the world that is invisible but there arriving she is sure of bliss and forever dwells in paradise.”
    ― Plato

    ReplyDelete
  62. Janet, I am so sorry about Melinda!! I can't imagine losing a close friend like that, you must be devastated. We don't encounter many individuals like that in our lifetime that leave such an impression on us and when they are gone it is so difficult. She sounds like a very special person.

    What a lovely tribute to your friend.

    Linda
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  63. A beautiful poem by Henry Van Dyke
    Gone from My Sight that begins...
    I am standing on the seashore, a ship at my side...
    My condolences,
    BarbaraG

    ReplyDelete
  64. Oh Janet, I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend, Melinda. Hugs to you.

    ReplyDelete
  65. What beautiful heartfelt words for your friend. I love that she reached out to others i the midst of her own illness. Peace to you Janet.

    ReplyDelete
  66. We should all be so lucky to have this kind of a friend. Rest in peace Melinda, and I am so sorry Janet.

    ReplyDelete
  67. I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and sympathy to you. I'm sure she's smiling at you all from Heaven.

    ReplyDelete
  68. My deepest sympathies on your loss Janet. she sounds like such a remarkable women.

    Darby

    ReplyDelete
  69. I'm so sorry. I hope that you can find peace remembering your amazing friend.

    ReplyDelete
  70. So sorry for the loss of your beautiful friend. I wish you much comfort and happy memories you have shared with Melinda. Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  71. I'm so sorry, Janet, for you, for Melinda and her family. We just lost my husband's sister, so you have all of my deepest empathy. Ardith

    ReplyDelete
  72. It's so sad when we lose people we love. I'm sorry for your loss and mat she rest in peace.

    ReplyDelete
  73. I'm sorry to read this, Janet, and send you my love and sympathy. When you lose a friend you also feel as though you have lost a little of yourself, those special times and the little things that were particular to your friendship. I have been to two funerals already this year and it is easy to feel vulnerable. All the more reason to live life well, with kindness and style, as you are doing.

    ReplyDelete
  74. So sorry to hear about your friend.

    ReplyDelete
  75. I am so sorry for your loss, I mourn with you. I HATE cancer in any shape or form, it spares no one.

    ReplyDelete
  76. You can see the energy and joy radiating from Melinda. Sometimes, words cannot express our deepest emotions; our hearts are torn apart, but the memories and love you shared will help with the pain.
    ~skye

    ReplyDelete
  77. I'm so sorry. 2 years ago I lost my friend of 25 years to ovarian cancer 2 weeks after losing my baby born prematurely. Death is such a hard thing to wrap our heads around. The pain neverending. But it allows the ones still living to have a second chance at life. To appreciate what really matters and to live fully whatever days we have left.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am so very sorry. What excruciating pain it must be. Just to think about losing the ones you love is terrifying enough. To actually experience it the way you have is beyond comprehension.
      Please do live your life fully. I hope you have a long, healthy, and fulfilling one.

      D.

      Delete
  78. Oh Janet....I'm so sorry! I've often thought of your friend Melinda who only I knew through your words. I know she was brave and lovely and so fortunate to have you as her friend. I'm so terribly sorry! With much love, annie

    ReplyDelete
  79. I am so sorry for your loss

    ReplyDelete

kindness is never out of style.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Back to Top