won't be buying this...





The other day I had about 20 minutes to kill before picking L up from the airport.  I popped into one of my favorite antique stores and came upon this.  It's as if the universe knows I'm trying to stop shopping.  I've been looking for this for years and it took everything I had to walk away from it. How great would this be with white towels stacked on it in a bathroom?  It would not fit in either of my bathrooms though.  How about as a teacart stacked with pretty plates, scones and fresh flowers in a garden scene with beautifully set tables?  Or a bar set-up at a swanky party - which I never have.  See how my mind works? Do I need it?  No.  Do I want it? Uh huh.  Needs vs wants is what it boils down to when I need to save money.  I could justify this very easily.  My anniversary is in a few weeks, Valentine's day is around the corner...blah, blah, blah. I won't be buying this...but someone should.  x

70 comments

  1. How beautiful! This would look great in your living room, a hallway, or your kitchen, which I believe is in black and white. What a great find.

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    1. Geesh! My reading comprehension has gotten so bad! This would be a great find if you did buy it.

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  2. Now that's willpower. Good for you. Reminds me of a current commercial about saving for retirement vs use of the "orange money" ... you have a longer term goal in mind for your $ and that's how you were able to leave that lovely bar cart for someone else to buy. Maybe they'll invite you over for drinks ;)

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  3. What was the price, if you don't mind me asking? Sometimes my decisions are made more easily based on the price of an item. If it's a steal, you should treat yourself to it!
    Claudia

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    1. O.K. Pay no attention to my comment below. For $45 I have to agree with Claudia and Anonymous...since it's a steal buy it to replace something else that you have already!! ;)

      Linda

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  4. Buy it, but sell something you own.

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    1. I agree Janet, you CANNOT pass that up for $45.00!!!!
      List the maxi dress you are second guessing on eBay and you will probably more than make up the price.
      I'll be listing stuff on eBay all weekend as my mea culpa for some weakness this past week. ;)

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  5. Oh you must go back and treat yourself! That is a steal for something so lovely and versatile and you can save the money elsewhere....seriously Janet.

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    1. I'm with the hostess here - this would haunt me as a real loss for a long time.
      Cindy F

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  6. Good for you; it will just be another surface for things to pile up on. Stay strong. I am so impressed!

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    1. And just another surface to dust. That's my universal question: "Is this something I want to have to dust every day/week?" And it takes up valuable floor space; you'd be hitting your shins on it every time you turned around.

      [Is any of this helping, Janet? No?]

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    2. I think it does help when you support someone's goals.

      It is all too easy to think what a wonderful, lovely thing...it is my style...I deserve it...it's only $xx...but that's how you end up with a house full of things you don't need.

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  7. is not making this purchase going to haunt you in the long term? tough call when what your heart has long desired presents itself at the right price. i applaud your will power, but wonder if you brought it home and it didn't work could you sell it for profit ?

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  8. I agree with the other ladies...it's okay to treat yourself once in awhile and it's okay to have "wants." You should go get it. I know you'll find a way to make it right with yourself it you do get it, you're good like that.

    Sometimes I go by price too. If it's in front of me and the price is a steal, I usually don't feel bad about it. Especially, if all the bills are paid, money is in savings, food stocked in the pantry, I know right where it will go, and most importantly, if I don't feel like I have to lie about the price to Chad, I will bring it home with me. :)

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  9. What vintage store is this? I don't have a need for this bamboo cart, although it is SO lovely...but if this store is your favorite, I'd like to start including it in my list of stores to check every so often.

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    1. it's here in redlands. redlands estate sales i believe is the name. there isn't a sign. :)

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  10. $45?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I am chomping at the bit to say what I'm thinking but I know how you capricorns work and that the more people tell you to rush back and buy it, the more firm you'll stand on not getting it to prove a point! So I'll just shake my head and tell you that I hope you wash all those beautiful vignettes out of your head with the Pineapple Express... And don't get mad at L if he reads this and buys it for you!
    But I do think this is the way these things go. It's test for sure. Faux bamboo bar carts may be difficult to find, but not impossible. So there will be another when you're ready. Right?... :)

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    1. are you implying i may be stubborn? lol

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    2. I'm a Capricorn and I'm insulted!

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    3. anon - i'm not insulted in the least. he's right! i'm married to a capricorn too. i have no idea how this has worked for us for so long either. :)

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    4. Because you'd both be too stubborn to ever quit! Haha I think saying someone is true to their word is rather complimentary!

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    5. I'm a Capricorn too, and yes, we are stubborn at times. We're also very practical and wise with our money!
      Claudia

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    6. My husband is a Capricorn too. He can be stubborn sometimes but his laid back personality makes up for it and he is a very likable person. I on the other hand am not as laid back and wonder sometimes how being opposites in that way that we can have such a good relationship...someone told me that if we were the same we would probably end up killing each other! HaHa she was kidding of course! :)

      Linda

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    7. I just learned that the phrase is "champing at the bit" and not chomping. Oops!

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    8. I always thought it was Chomping at the bit too......

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  11. I applaud your courage to pass this up. We are all seduced by photos of beautiful vignettes on the internet, but.....swanky parties etc. Must get real. Must get real. It is beautiful and elegant though.

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  12. I bought a mid century one before Christmas for £10 outside a charity shop, it needs work but I couldn't resist it...

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  13. I think I would have bought it. But, I do admire your self control. And, if it is too large for where you are wanting it, you are better to keep searching. Happy Friday!

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  14. I applaud your resoluteness. And I won't push you to purchase, of course. But that is a stunning piece and wouldn't it make a lovely Valentine's gift for you? Any possibility?

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  15. Hi, Janet! I find a lot of buying is fueled by FOMO--fear of missing out on a great deal, your one chance, etc, etc. I admire you for not giving in to the FOMO and sticking with it. Do you always test your willpower by visiting your favorite shops when you're trying not to buy? :) Have a lovely day!

    Maureen

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  16. It may be a great piece and a steal, but I admire you soooooo much for walking away without it simply because you didn't have a specific place for it. I struggle with this all the time and would likely have it sitting in the middle of my dining area for the next week because I couldn't figure out what to do with it!

    Melodee

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  17. Okay, I'm not going to be any help. If you've been looking for something like this for years and the price is right, get it. Then maybe get rid of something else. :)

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  18. This is why I read your posts...I gain strength to keep to my goals, even when the most incredible tea cart for only $45 appears right before my eyes. :-)
    I'm married to a capricorn, your reader is spot on, when you make up your minds, no matter how much outside coaxing you receive, you stick to your guns. I wish I were more like that!
    Karen

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  19. What i'd like to know is why you were in that shop in the first place! I can ask that because I'm planning to go to Goodwill tomorrow and look for baking pans. I already know that I will spend at least an hour in there, going through every sweater, all the crafts all the dishes etc. etc. why do we torture ourselves this way?
    Laura

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  20. You are stronger than me. I just have to stay out of the stores completely.

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  21. Life is to short to deny yourself the little lovelies in life and besides, what's $45 in the scheme of things? Go back and buy it!

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  22. Don't you just hate that? You resolve not to spend money and then the universe puts temptation in front of you. It is just what you dreamed of and you can't buy it. You will obsess about this table for years, but you did the right thing. I finally figured it out, every little bit of money counts toward your goal. Five years ago, I had to help a family member shortly after I quit my job to get a lower paying job doing what I really loved. I really started to cut back financially in order to survive. When the family member no longer needed my help, I was amazed that I could live on so much less just by saying NO! Spending money on little things sabotage you from saving from your real goal--my house will be paid off this year!

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  23. What strength you have. I'm impressed. I don't know if I could have walked away even though, like you, I have no where to put it but darn.... what a find.

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  24. It might be helpful to just stop browsing in antique stores if you absolutely will not buy anything. Why make it so hard on yourself?

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    1. exactly. i won't be killing time in any retail space again.

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  25. Hi Janet, That's exactly what I do, I justify reasons to buy when I tell myself I won't. If you have the self control not to buy something you really want, then I think I can do it too. I will think of you next time I'm tempted. Thank you. ;-)

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  26. It's hard. Once you see it, you need it. Admire your strength. I am coveting a dessert set of architectural white and black plates, bowls, and coffee cups right now. All total about $70. But I don't need them. But I so want them. They weren't available for a long time, and I kicked myself for not getting them. Now the shop has more. I should have stayed the hell out of there. I do love this table. How much is it? I think you need it. Ok, I'm not helping (love it though).

    I know you are stopping shopping, but another idea is to set a monthly frivolity budget. $60 maybe. $100. more? less? then you have permission and can decide how to allocate funds. like being 13 and having your allowance.

    I don't think I'm helping. See...I'm struggling with the same issues.

    xo Terri

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  27. Well I say don't buy it. There is always something else. And the idea of selling one of your other precious items to justify buying it makes no sense. You did the right thing! When you are supposed to have it it will happen without even needing to question it, I promise!

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  28. Yeah, I have a very elegant cousin; he lived in New Orleans for years and years; tends to decorate (he's got the flair) in that southern French style with beautiful art, wallpaper, china, lamps, shutters, ferns, dark woods, saturated colors...his house just evokes all kinds of emotion/mood/intrigue; he always reminds me of Hemingway, who I expect to enter the room, having gotten up from his typewriter, ceiling fan above his head ruffling his manuscript pages in the hot afternoon. Anyway, Cousin has a cart just like yours in the photo, sitting off to the side in a formal living room, 'cluttered' with a collection of gorgeous antique glass liquor decanters; he does a lot of entertaining. I mean, if you use it, it's one thing...and he does.

    About wanting/buying...I have this quote pasted where I can see it...it's attributed to the guy who took Steve Jobs' place at Apple and he was talking about 'product' in some vein but I figured it could apply, well, to me: "It's easy to add. It's harder to edit." So easy to keep accumulating and buying. One-click shopping. Much more of a challenge/talent/art to work with what you have, clear out the crap and let the cream rise to the top,

    What I've had to acknowledge and own is that I can't browse; I can't window-shop. I go in a place, I'll buy. I lack the discipline. And it's a shame, because looking at pretty things and seeing what's out there is an enjoyable activity in so many ways. What I say to myself now is, 'you can't buy the new roof this summer, if you buy this such&such now.' Pretty basic; what they teach children about work & reward, action & consequence. That restless feeling that comes with wanting to get out there and shop? Just have to tame it; distract; go do something else. It's like what they say about food addiction; replace the activity. Don't reach for the cookie. Go take a walk.

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    1. wow! filled with so much wisdom!

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  29. So, ya going back for it? LOL Sorry! - So many people suggested you should, I was just wondering if you were going to cave. It's really pretty. I can spend $45 at The Target in 6 minutes buying laundry detergent and toilet paper and legal pads. GAH! My rule of thumb is - If an object (not groceries or a bill) costs more than $100, I wait 3 full days to decide. If after the 3 FULL days I still want it a LOT and its a great deal, I'll pull the trigger. Undoubtedly, at about 2.5 days, I've lost interest in the big things. I've NOT made an offer on a few homes by doing this. But, $45 and it's as lovely as that? I'd already be posting pics for my sister and friends, complete with beautiful barware and flowers. Sorry - Not much help, am I? Beautiful taste as always either way...
    fourhens

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    1. Just when I think I can't like you any more than I already do, you do something like this! I am cheering for you! I am currently unemployed and, while I have a good financial base to keep me going until I am working again (thanks to my frugal lifestyle), I was shopping and buying too many things I didn't need so decided to stop buying too. Seeing you do it too helps me keep at it.

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  30. Janet,

    You only live one time and if it's still there when you go back or call, then maybe it was meant to be yours. That's what I do a lot of times and if it is meant for me to have it, then it will still be there waiting! Since you have been looking for one for years and you have found it at a bargain, I would buy it. I think you will regret not buying it or making a big hint to your beloved for your anniversary gift.

    Sincerely,
    Debra from SENC

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  31. I feel your pain. Been there done that. But if you can't justify it's purchase it isn't meant to be. At least that's what I tell myself. ;)

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  32. Janet,
    The month of January, my daughter and I made a pact to not shop. It felt good yesterday to shop with her and realize that our wants and our desires are purely psychological while our needs are mostly economical. There is a discipline learned by not having all our wants and needs fulfilled. In a capitalist society, it seems that we the consumer are looked down upon when we do not immediately succumb to every desire.
    Saving, scrimping, and moving on from something that we might want is something beautiful. A dear friend is now controlled by every purchase and it is as if an elephant were crushing her spirit. She has to downsize and all of the collections that she wanted are no longer desired. Therein lies a deep wound, that no bandaid can fix.
    If this item of desire is meant, surely you will find it for a song or create something even more suited to your space.
    Walking on is admirable.
    pve

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    1. ......like this...thanks

      ann

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    2. thank you patricia. that is such a wise story. thank you for sharing.

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  33. This happened to me last month. I am on a no buying streak until June. I came across the perfect coffee table to replace out now 11 year old beat up, dog chewed, twice painted one. And when I say perfect I swear I heard harps playing when I came upon it. ;) I walked away and when I went home, I polished up the current coffee table, put a nice candle on top and lit it and basked in her beauty. As hard as it was to walk away, there will always be another, somewhere and by then I will probably see something like that is completely different. And the $85 I was going to spend is now in my savings account. :)

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  34. You have SO MUCH RESTRAINT! That is what I need. Philosophically, I agree with all that you write here but I am not as disciplined with the living it part. You are always inspiring though. Happy Weekend!

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  35. I too would have wanted that cart...badly! But like you, I have "no room in the inn"! Couldn't use it outside either as our patio/deck is not covered. I have walked away from quite a few things that I loved but sadly just had to say no to.

    I've been meaning to ask you if you have ever looked at MarkDSikes blog? I absolutely love his home and it was featured in House Beautiful a few years back so you may have already. However, he did another remodel recently, it is to die for! And his backyard...OMG. I think you would love all of it. Lot's of blue and white pieces everywhere. Blogger Joni Webb of Cote de Texas had a great photo spread on his home remodel before and after. (07/27/14)

    Have a great weekend!

    Linda
    xo

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  36. $45 is a great buy and as you say perfect for towels in the loo or a bar table elsewhere. Handsome, versatile, and value priced = Great Buy!

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  37. Its beautiful but if its too big for where you could put it then its not perfect. I do suffer from FOMO (badly!) but whenever i resisted, later on, when the timing was right, i found something similar or better. always. stay strong!

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  38. So glad to find your fun blog. I've enjoyed reading and am a new follower

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  39. I say a payed off home is worth waaay more than any price on any table. There are alway sales and great deals on everything all the time. One has to be able to be satisfied and content without the compulsion to keep spending more. I'm glad you said no to the table and remembered your priorities.

    Sorry I'm ranting, but I need to remind myself these things constantly too! I don't want to be a burden to my family later in life because I didn't take care of my finances. I know it's just a table, but it's symbolic. You did good, I'm proud of you!

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    1. I totally agree with you. I also need the reminder of what my real goals are. That is one of the reasons I love this blog and the comments so much. I used to think $50 or less wasn't much to spend, but I have been spending consciously for about 5 years (with some relapses) and it has really changed my finances. I have a sign posted from Pinterest that reminds me: "He who buys what he does not need steals from himself."

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    2. Love that quote, had to write that one down! Thanks for sharing.

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    3. excellent advice. everyone has such good advice. but just to let everyone know, i did not and won't be purchasing the barcart!

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    4. i was wondering :) good job staying true to yourself and your goals!

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  40. I understand. I was in your mindset almost two decades ago when I passed on a beautiful bombe chest at Goodwill for $65. It needed to be stripped and refinished, but I was okay with that. I had been a saver my entire life, living with the need vs want. The reason that I passed was that I lost my job a month earlier. Not that I didn't have the money to easily afford it, I did. From time to time, to this day, I still think of that beautiful bombe chest.

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  41. Your tenacity is impressive. It's a beauty. Good for you!!

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  42. NYT online edition 2/15/15 by OpEd contributor Druckner about decluterring.
    B

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  43. Great article, Thanks for your great information, the content is quiet interesting. I will be waiting for your next post.

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kindness is never out of style.

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