more wedding notes




Three days from right now guests will be arriving at our home for Alex and Brittney's wedding and I haven't figured out what I'm wearing yet.  With so much to do in so little time, what I was wearing kept getting put off and off until yesterday I realized...What am I going to wear?

So I drove out to the outlet center that is about 30 miles away and walked into Tory Burch and tried on these dresses.  I loved them all but that front one is the one I wanted.  But of course they didn't have my size.  I still don't know what I'm wearing b/c it is really quite cold and we will be outside all afternoon and into the evening.  I am more than likely going to pull out my Ralph Lauren autumn things and put something together.  Any and all suggestions welcomed.

A & B have decided against using a caterer and so family is all pitching in to create the casual wedding they are looking for. I've never done a wedding like this and had so little control over things but I but I'm hoping it all comes out beautifully.

I went to Trader Joes to look at their roses that are on special for $4.99 a bunch.  I had no idea they will actually order what you want. So I will be sure to have pretty soft colored roses like these to mix in with tons of greenery.





So that's what's going on here 3 days before the wedding.  Can you sense my nervousness? :)

Let's end this post with an image M sent me this morning.  So pretty!



82 comments

  1. It will be wonderful! I have been doing weddings for almost 30 years, and I can tell you not one was ever perfect and the imperfections was what make them special. So stop worrying, and live in the moment, all will be wonderful :) As for what you wear. Your own closet has an outfit that you feel comfortable and beautiful in. Being comfortable is the most important. So many times I have seen people in their new finery, tugging at their unfamiliar and uncomfortable clothing, and feeling unsure of themselves. Just be comfortable. Big hugs to you, and happy wishes to the wedding couple.

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    1. thank you miranda. such good advice! thank you a million x's!

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  2. Oh I like that Tory one, too - so sorry they didn't have your size! I am no good on that stuff, but I cannot wait to see what you pull off. You will be beautiful regardless! Much love to you and yours over these coming few days!

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    1. wendy, that tory dress is so gorgeous in person!

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  3. This is going to be a beautiful day for all of you. I bet you come up with something lovely to wear. I am kind of wondering if one of your wool blazers doesn't make an appearance? Would help with the chill in the air. The flowers will be glorious. You have such a wonderful backdrop for everything. Also, glad you are not entirely responsible for feeding everyone. That could be so tiring. I hope you get to relax a bit and take it all in. This is a very special moment. Best Wishes!

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    1. i would love to wear my herringbone jacket belted! i tried it with a few things this afternoon but still am not sure.

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  4. Look forward to seeing pics of whatever you choose. With the cooler weather - and the garden and Persian carpet setting, a lovely silk scarf might be a good accessory. But then you know how the garden tour girls love our scarves! best wishes for a wonderful day. Pammie xx

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    1. thank you pammie. i do know how you aussies love your scarves!

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  5. Best wishes for a wonderful day Janet!
    I think the comments by Miranda above ring true. At my younger daughter's wedding nobody noticed that the priest was missing until the bride ( my daughter) sweetly said to husband -to -be under the arch where the vows were to be made, "where's the priest"? He went as white as a ghost. Frantic phone calls. puzzlement, laughter, etc., etc. Located the priest having a coffee as he thought the wedding was 1 hour later.Everyone cheered and applauded as he made his entrance. My husband was happy walking his daughter twice down a flowered carpet, My 3year old grand-daughter flowergirl loved the repeat performance. And, it has made a wonderful story since.
    Have a wonderful day and enjoy whatever happens among family and friends. Linda C.

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    1. thank you linda for that wonderful story. what a great wedding story. i love it!

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    2. After the event, that is a hilarious story. Have heard of missing brides or bridegrooms or other relatives - but never before a missing priest! Love all the soft coloured roses. Pammie

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  6. I have no doubt that whatever you wear will be wonderful. Ditto for the flowers. I wish you and yours all the happiness in the world.

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  7. I cant wait to see how this all comes off. Miranda up top had the perfect advice and 30 years experience behind it. Definitely wear something you're very comfortable in. The flowers and that that special delivery from M are lovely. Good luck!!!

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  8. Janet, you are a woman of style, and whatever you wear is going to be perfect! Really no worries, your gonna be fine, fashionable and beautiful, as always! Can't wait to see pics of the event.

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  9. I don't know why but I suddenly thought of that wonderful Downton Abbey party your friend M gave, the hair decorations were wonderful, especially the dainty headbands.
    I don't know why we fret so when we are obviously surrounded by people who love us. ;-) Everything you do though is first-class. No doubt you are hardest on yourself, Janet.

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    1. thank you gail. how sweet. M's party was gorgeous! x

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  10. I know it will be a wonderful wedding, I'm sure. Our wedding, 45 years ago was simple and beautiful. At the small university chapel, the minister completely changed his "message" to us when he saw the attendees were young people and lots of children. The reception was at my parents' home. It was so much fun--a joyous occasion with all we loved. We didn't fret about anything. It didn't cost much, but it was rich in everything that was most important to us--family and friends.

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    1. awww thanks for sharing your story isabella - such loveliness! x

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  11. How exciting, Janet. So happy for you and your family! You will certainly look as beautiful as ever and I have no doubt it will be a wonderful day. Based on my own recent wedding experience, know that things work out beautifully in the most unexpected, joyful and memorable ways. Enjoy!

    xo,
    Deborah

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    1. thank you deborah. you are right...things always work out! x

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  12. Simple weddings are the best. I know you will make everything lovely and will be dressed perfectly.
    Can't wait to see pictures!
    Betty

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  13. It's gonna be great! I too think Miranda nailed it with her advice. Can't wait for your reportage and pictures. Lots of good wishes for a wonderful day!

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  14. It's is going to be a beautiful wedding.....when family and friends arrive and the flowers are out and the candles lit, and they are standing in front of you all, anything that you are nervous about now, will not matter.

    She wants a simple beautiful day and you exude simple beauty.....♥

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    1. thank you sweet sarah, you are so right about all these little things not mattering in the end. thanks you. x

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  15. The best advice I read was to double check what you're wearing in relation to the expected mother/son dance. So many photos are taken at that moment and the mother's usually have their arms upstretched and across the front of the photos near their face........sometimes the choice of dress becomes very awkward at that moment, showcasing the backside of your upper arms. So, if that could be something that would make you sad later to see in photos, it's worth thinking about. Enjoy! Mother-of-the-groom was my favorite job. All the party, all the glamour, all the love.....very little of the work and responsibility!

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    1. Yes, Kitty, great advice about the dress for the mother of the groom. Wearing a dress that covers the upper arms is a Very Good Idea. (At least for many of us.) When my son got married a few year ago, my dress was sleeveless but had a matching jacket that I *never* took off. (Although I have a feeling that Janet has lovely upper arms.) :-)

      kris

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  16. The roses are lovely, and the entire wedding will be absolutely beautiful...definitely looking forward to seeing all of the pics.

    As for something to wear, I was looking back through your outfit posts, and have a couple of ideas for you. What about your navy silk dress with the crocheted collar? You shared a couple pics of it in this post. It is really lovely with the navy tights and kitten heels. Another idea is your little black dress worn with tights, knee boots, and your RL jacket if it gets too chilly out. A maxidress could work too...perhaps the one from i. magnin worn with a cardigan? Honestly, you are so lovely, that no matter what you choose, you will look perfect for the occasion. :)

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    1. Ok...not sure why the extra links are in my comment, as the only one I added was the link to the pic of you in the navy dress. I tried reposting and it did the same thing. Sorry!

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    2. oh melissa, thank you for taking the time to help me! it's so funny you mention the navy dress b/c i pulled it out this afternoon and tried it on and that is def a good option. i would love to wear my lbd with boots but can i wear black? the internet has mixed opinions about that. maybe you should do a post on that subject!!! again thanks for your advice, i love it all. x

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    3. What about wearing your J.Crew wildcat cardigan over the dress, and a pair of boots? It would help to downplay the black, and make it appear more like a sweater/skirt combo. You could belt the cardigan, too. I wore a similar outfit with my cardigan. You can see a pic of it if you scroll down about half way into this post. Not sure how casual the wedding will be, but it's at least another option. :)

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    4. melissa you have no idea how helpful this is to me this morning. i owe you!

      i thought of this combo too and have a pencil skirt (actually the bride made it for me for my birthday last year) that would work well too. the weather report says it is getting colder too and so the boots make so much sense. thanks for the link to your blog too. so nice to have your skilled visuals! xo janet

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  18. Yay - how fun, exciting & nerve wracking! I am a control freak and would be a total mess. You know doubt will look smashing though. A white button down with some fancy pants? No matter - you will radiate the love. Xoxo.

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    1. *no doubt. Yikes, I need to go to bed!

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    2. oh i bet you could find me the perfect outfit! x

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  19. Well, you can't miss with lovely, faded-fall-colored roses like those shown; beautiful.

    So, coincidentally, I've become better 'acquainted' with Tory Burch lately. I saw her interviewed by Charlie Rose and I liked how she talked about things; smart and 'real.' I like to follow fashion although I'm not a fashionista like I was when much younger. I just tonight was viewing online some of her clothes worn by celebs at a recent party held at the Tory Burch flagship boutique in Beverly Hills on Rodeo Drive (lah-de-dah...) and, although it was to celebrate the launch of her new line of watches, loyal invitees tend to wear the designer's other stuff at these events so, of course, the ladies were wearing Tory Burch, several of which were dresses/outfits from her upcoming Spring 2015 collection. I liked some of them, not all of them. It's interesting how she can go quite neutral, then blast you with color on something else. You would look dynamite in the piece you've shown; I wish you could get it at another outlet but I know you're just plain out of time. I have no doubt you'll come up with something fab from your own wardrobe; it doesn't sound like you're expected to break the bank anyway and your inventory of neutrals seems to be right in line with what the kids want, so I think it's perfect. I can't wait to see your photos. What it does sound like is a light and happy affair; love the time of year for it. Just be very present in those special moments; make a memory. It trumps the clothes, although it's always good to feel right...in the right clothes. You're excellent at this, Janet; don't worry about it. It's all going to go fine, including your dress. Mother of the Groom will be as stylish as her handsome son!

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    1. i would have liked to see that interview. her store at the outlet usually has a long line out front just to get in. i like most of her clothes too. i adored that navy dress but no time like you said. i am calming down this early am and know it will all work out and be beautiful. thanks vicki. x

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  20. It's all so exciting....best wishes for a memorable day.
    If you lived I here you'd you'd be wearing a down coat, hat, scarf and mitts!
    Enjoy the day and I am sure you'll look lovely....those roses will be perfect.

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    1. thank you dear leslie. it's going to be chilly but not that chilly! x

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  21. Janet, so....exciting! Ok, my two cents...since it will be cooler weather...what about wearing that vintage furry coat (of course with something under it, ha) I just love it! I can picture it with the vintage rugs, flowers, your garden, etc. Well, whatever you wear you'll look spectacular!! Oh, how I want to be a fly on the wall.

    Renee in Northern California

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    1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    2. thank you renee. i didn't mean to delete your comment. it's too early here! i think you mean my mom's cashmere coat with the fur color? yes! thanks!

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  22. Three days to go? You must have masses to do, ok what to wear what to wear, I too love that one at the front, what's your favourite colour? I'm always happy and content in my favourite colour.
    Have a wonderful time and it will be so beautiful with you at the helm.

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    1. my favorite color is probably black and i just don't know if i should wear a black dress to my son's wedding. i'm fine with it but will have to ask them and see. i hate fashion rules! x

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  23. Janet,
    Whatever you wear, you will radiate beauty and your heart of joy. I loved you in that cream top last year when you had a few friends over. I think you wore it with jeans, but paired with a skirt or pants, and then a sweater or shawl on hand, you will look elegant and timeless.
    Celebrate and enjoy~
    pve

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    1. thank you patricia. that is another option i am considering. i love that silk dvf top and would love to wear it too. i think it would look really pretty with a big rose pinned on it right?! gotta make up my mind quickly!

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  24. I vote for your lovely LBD with a beautiful (and warm!) scarf tossed on top or your amazing vintage I. Magin maxi dress. No matter what, you'll look stunning. My best wishes to the happy couple - and to all of you. Wendy

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    1. thank you wendy. i'm liking that idea too....x

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  25. Hmmmm. Since you asked, I think you're better to not wear black. Think how you would pop against your red house in the photos. Jack White would love it, but I know you wouldn't want that. That being said, I don't think it would be a problem if you opted to wear black. That is the great thing about deviating from the traditional program--the rules don't really apply. I just think that if you're on the fence anyway, you might feel uncomfortable the whole day in black.
    It will be so lovely, and forever and ever you, Larry, and your beautiful home will have provided a gracious gift and memory. I'm around A LOT of bridal parties and I can tell you that often the worst behaved of the group is the mother of the groom. I think especially among hair and makeup, mostly with the bride's family and friends, MoGs feel left out. So they lash out at the help (me)! I'm quite confident that there will be none of those issues with you!
    This is going to sound like a comparison, and I swear it's not. But the most incredible wedding I've ever been to was held at the "Knights of Columbus" in a tiny town perched over a lake with a toxic algae bloom. There were plastic flowers, a drop ceiling, and "electric lemonade" served from Gatorade coolers. I remember it so well because you could just feel what a truly happy couple they were. The groom was biting his lower lip holding back tears during the vows. They spent not even a tenth of most weddings in our group of friends, but the whole thing was simply magical. Maybe it was the Arbor Mist I bought from the gas station and drank with the maid of honor in the parking lot. That's why weddings still matter. So just try your best to relax and enjoy the whole thing! But don't drink any arbor mist. I think I gained ten pounds and was hungover for three days.

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    1. stephen andrew where do i start?! i'm laughing out loud here. i honestly don't even know where to start. your humor is so calming and makes me realize that none of this is a problem and really just go with it and have fun. love the visual of the groom biting his lip. so sweet. love the visual of you and the maid of honor in the parking lot throwing back arbor mist. killing me. i don't know what i'm gonna wear but i think it'll be ok no matter what i pick. the attention will be on beautiful B where it belongs. i wish you were coming. :) i wish you all were coming. i wish jack white were coming too. xoxoxo

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    2. Regarding Andrew's comment about the MoG's behaving badly...my son-in-law's mom was intoxicated before the ceremony! So classy. :(

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    3. Oops sorry I meant Stephen!!!!!

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    4. oh gosh linda that had to be awful! can't wait to see how it's all gonna go down.

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    5. Oh yeah there's lots of that! Haha. And no worries--Stephen and Andrew are interchangeable. People who've known me since before I was 16 call me Andrew. My mom always knew she's name her son Stephen, but I went by my middle name when I was little because she didn't want Stephen to turn into Steve. So I wasn't allowed to go by Stephen until I was old enough to "correct people. Graciously, of course".

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    6. Well, I didn't actually find out until the week after the wedding when my daughter told me. Guess I was having too much fun to notice! :)

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  26. it will be fabulous! your personal philosophy of relaxing and savoring the moment will ensure that! enjoy! enjoy! enjoy! p.s. you can never go wrong with wine and bread and cheese and fruit and wine!

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  27. one of the most enjoyable wedding I attended was one many years ago of a young couple who had very little money. a group of friends got together to give them a special day. one couple volunteered their modest town house for the reception. everyone brought their special dish. we had done potlucks together before so we know what we each did best. the food was delicious. we rolled up the rugs and danced to the sterio. my daughter and another young girl were flower girls, we bought their dresses off the rack at a discount store, white dotted swiss with lavender sashes. it was all wonderful! as to what you might wear, I like the idea of the vintage cream silk top, with a skirt or even some dressy pants, accessorized with a rose. you will be lovely and the wedding will be perfect!
    Darby

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  28. Hello,

    Read your post last night and decided this morning to go check out the newly expanded TB store at Camarillo outlets, where I live. They do have your dress in various sizes, and I’m ready to help it make its way to your place if you wish so. I would need an email address to reach you for more details. Let me know - you can contact me at shoppingmao(at)hotmail(dot)com.

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    1. Janet! Janet! Janet!!!! READ THIS FIRST!!!

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    2. so, so, so nice of you, Anonymous!!!

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  29. I have coordinated several weddings, mostly for family. What does everyone remember the most? Not how perfect the day was, or the stunning flowers. The funny stories! The accidents and the incidents! How Mom freaked out because there was pink fuzz allover Dad's suit, the little ring bearer that fell asleep, a missing priest or the maid of honor who had to be sewn into her dress she did such a good job at dieting. These are the favorite stories that get told again and again, these are the great memories that were made at weddings. And even though we really don't want them to happen, we got through them and like the story of the priest above, everyone laughed and the day went on. So remember, everyone is there to celebrate with your son and his bride! It doesn't have to be perfect, just a good party.

    And I think you can pull together an amazing outfit from your closet! Love the idea of wearing roses too!

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    1. Funny you should write this because my daughter just got married 7 weeks ago and looking at the photos I wish we had done a couple things different. I have said why did the florist/photographer/venue have to do that? Minor things but they are still bugging me a little. My husband said that no one else probably noticed any of it. And you are right it doesn't have to be perfect. What matters is that my daughter had the wedding of her dreams!

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  30. Dear Janet,
    I'm excited and happy for the soon to-be Mr. And Mrs. and for your family.
    Please post pictures of this happy event. Congratulations.
    BarbaraG

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  31. Wow I didn't expect to see you posting until after the wedding. Well at least you are not responsible for ALL the food! It will be a joint effort, sort of like my daughter's shower. (there were 35 people attending so other people pitched in)

    What a drag they didn't have that dress in your size! I'm sure what ever you decide on will be lovely.

    Have a great time and congratulations!

    Linda
    xo

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  32. I vote for the cream silk blouse with whatever you have and, yes, a rose! And a shawl in those muted autumn colors (for warmth.) But the navy dress with crocheted collar is charming, too. Have a wonderful day. Because I know it will be so.

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  33. 1st time commenter, long time reader and lover of your blog which has helped with downsizing from our family home, general life simplification and on and on. Our daughter was married last year in a traditional-ish wedding and I didn't pick a dress until that morning! It was only when my sister took a picture of me in each dress that the choice became obvious. I only wish we thought of that sooner! We all had the time of our lives and wouldn't change one thing, even the
    miscues. You will be beautiful no matter what you wear!

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  34. Janet you're going to think I'm crazy but I've been thinking about what you're wearing but didn't want to email you to ask in case you thought I was being bossy. I'd be agonizing over it and the meaning of the colour I wore etc etc so I can imagine the spot you're in. I like Melissa's suggestion of navy blue, very classy and how much do I love Stephen Andrew's comment, he kills me every time, I think we should all get ourselves some Arbor Mist never mind the 10lbs and 3 day hangover, so funny!
    Let us know what you decide but you have amazing instinct when it comes to beauty... that is natural to you so I know you will be stylish and perfect.xox

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  35. Whatever you wear I know you'll look absolutely gorgeous! Have a wonderful time. xxx

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  36. Hope you can figure it all out Janet. I know you will look fabulous!
    And, I made the Pumpkin Chili the other night. I have made many vegan chilis and I have to tell you, this is the best one yet! So flavorful and the perfect consistency for our taste---not too thick not too soupy. Hope you consider still making it now that there is no caterer. Looking forward to all the details. It's going be a wonderful day!

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  37. Good Morning , how are you ? Please can you tell me how is your son now?

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    1. thank you so much... I am glad hear from him ... :)

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kindness is never out of style.

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